Shutterbug Mama

when i got home from work yesterday, i discovered that ted and cadence were at the playground around the corner from us, so i grabbed my camera to join them. as i was walking around to the playground entrance, a bunch of kids saw me with my big-ass camera strapped around my neck, and they started begging, 'take a picture of me! take a picture of me!' so i obliged.

each time i snapped a shot, they would crowd around my camera yelling, 'let me see! let me see!' they were so cute...

we live in a somewhat sketchy part of town. some portions of rogers park, our neighborhood, have seen a lot of development recently. the part of rogers park where we're at, however, it's a little more isolated from the cool and the hip, and it's just kinda boring.

there are definitely a lot of low income families around here, and i often see little kids playing unsupervised in the playground. most of them are really sweet and seem to really enjoy getting a little attention from a grownup every now and then.

they even let cadence take their ball away...and she gets very possessive of any ball within a 50ft radius, whether it belongs to her or not, so the actual owner of the ball most likely won't get it back until we leave the playground.

besides stealing other kids' balls at our local playground, cadence also enjoys going for a joyride on ted's relatively new Volpe. we need to get her a helmet for a longer ride, and we're hoping that she'll enjoy riding so much that when she gets older maybe she and her old man can get tandem bikes and do some cross country cycling. it's a dream of ted's.

what a busy week! monday was the aforementioned painting day in our home. our friend tim arrived close to 10am to help ted, and cadence and i left to seek refuge at my mom’s. cadence loves going to my mom’s because there’s a staircase that’s nice and plushly carpeted, and she loves going up and down that thing.

my mom was really tired from having just arrived late the night before from L.A., so i took her out to lunch. cadence decided not to take her morning nap, and we were getting hungry, so we braced ourselves and went out in public with an unnapped toddler at midday. this would normally be a formula for disaster, but cadence seemed content enough. it was a lovely sunny day, and she had on her sunniest disposition to match. luckily, the restaurant we went to, a bar and grill called Red Star, had a booth open right by a window, so cadence could stand in her seat and look out at the goings on. they also gave us coloring materials, which amused her for approximately 3 minutes. she did, however, discover the joy of ketchup over her lunch. she would take a french fry and dip it in the ketchup and just lick off the tangy red stuff without even biting into the fry.

after lunch, we went over to the little nature trail they built in glenview where the old naval air base used to be. there’s a big pond and a few gravel paths as well as a large bike/walking path. cadence was thrilled to just run around that big open expanse and my mom and i had to literally jog to keep up with her. she looked so cute amidst the field of dandelions, and although she didn’t fall down at all (despite her speed), she did manage to step into a mud puddle. she did somehow avoid all the goosepoop though, and for that, i am so grateful.

cadence did finally have a meltdown when we had to go back to the car. she wanted to continue running around in the hot, hot sun, and she just didn’t realize how exhausted she was. toddlers do that a lot, i’m finding out. she screamed and cried when i picked her up to take her off of the nature trails and back to the parking lot, but after a couple minutes, her exhaustion got the best of her, and she was asleep by the time i strapped her into her carseat.

so anyhoo, thanks to ted and tim's painting skills, we now have lovely green walls in our dining room and hallway. i like to call it cucumber green, but ted corrects me and says they are really "sea mist" or something like that. it's not quite as limey as in the photo, but it is definitely a fresh springy green that's mighty purty.

so ted is priming our walls in the dining room and hallway to be painted tomorrow. i am in the living room trying to keep cadence entertained in the meantime. we're watching 'i am trying to break your heart' (the wilco documentary) and i don't know how long it will take for cadence to realize that this is not another sesame street or blue's clues episode.

speaking of the wilco documentary, for those of you who've seen it, have you ever noticed how the opening scene with greg kot (music writer for the trib) looks like it's in a prison cell, and the shot of greg makes him look like an inmate? scary...

in other news, thax douglas, chicago's very own indie rock poet-in-residence, is posting the poems that he wrote for a gazillion bands on his myspace blog. check it out if you're interested. rumor has it that thax is moving on out of chicago. if that turns out to be true, it'll be a great loss to the windy city.

speaking of music, last night was a great night of music on WBEZ, chicago's public radio. emmylou harris and mark knopler were on prairie home companion, and man, does she sound good. they've got a new duet album out called "all the roadrunning". i might have to check it out. i like duets. after prairie home companion, it was jim derogatis & greg kot's rock 'n' roll talk show 'sound opinions', and then steve edwards hosted a whole hour long special on sufjan stevens called 'mapping sufjan stevens'. i don't normally listen to the radio at home, but i do enjoy saturday programming on WBEZ, and for good reason.

damn. that glenn kotche's drumming skills are sizzlin'...i like the way he holds his drumsticks. part of the reason i keep watching this DVD is so i can see glenn drum.

every now and then, i go back into my archives to see what i wrote one, two, three, four years ago...april is historically a hard month for me, because i watched my father die for the entire month of april in 2002. today, i looked back to see what i wrote on this very saturday 4 years ago, and it turns out i had just finished reading 'life after god' by douglas coupland for the 2nd time. coincidentally, i just finished reading that same book this past thursday. i guess there's something about april that brings me back to this book time and time again. i don't know how many times i've read this book by now. each time, my reaction is different, depending on my state of mind and emotions. 4 years ago, i was grappling with the same sense of being lost that the narrator struggles with, although mine stemmed from BEING raised with religion, whereas his was from being raised WITHOUT religion. i remember reading the stories back then, and thinking that coupland was writing about me. this time, when i reread the book, i felt a little more detached, like i was reading about myself when i was younger, but not about who i feel like i am today.

four years have gone by so quickly. and although having cadence and teddy now has taken the edge off of the sorrow i felt back then from losing my dad, there's still a part of me that can't believe he's actually. really. gone...i still dream about him at least once or twice a week. and i wish those dreams were always happy dreams, where he's totally well and cancer-free, but they're not. sometimes i watch him die all over again, and it doesn't hurt any less the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 56th time around...

today, i am feeling sentimental. april does that to me, you know...last night, ted played a benefit show with tim lowly at north park university, so me and the babe were alone. i was tired, so i popped in the extra footage dvd for 'i am trying to break your heart', the wilco documentary. i had never watched this disc before. i was reminded again how much i love this band. damn, they look good in black and white grainy film...so today, while teddy is out all day paintballing at his best friend brian's brother's bachelor party, i have put our 6-disc CD changer to good use with the following tunes:
CD1--A.M. by wilco
CD2--Being There, Disc 1 by wilco
CD3--Being There, Disc 2 by wilco
CD4--Summerteeth by wilco
CD5--Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by wilco
CD6--A Ghost is Born by wilco

i'm actually quite amazed that i was able to find all the cds, as my collection is usually in disarray. yeah, i have not yet been converted to the iPod community. i don't know if i ever will. i really like reading liner notes.

anyhoo. some of these albums have great sentimental value for me. i really could listen to them over and over again, and i have gone through periods in my life when that's ALL i listened to. and to this day, 'via chicago' is one of the very few songs i can play on the guitar (poorly) while singing.

well, baby's gonna be up soon. it's a lovely day here in the windy city, so we'll probably go out to the park. she's finally getting over her cold, *knock*knock* that was a long illness by cadence's standards. almost two weeks.

playing outdoors is so much more fun when you don't have to wipe green snot every few minutes. i must admit, though, cadence took it pretty well. she used to hate having her nose wiped, but now she seems to understand that it feels so much better to have that gook taken care of right away.

well, we're FINALLY painting our first room (the dining room) on monday. that is to say, TED will be painting, with much needed assistance from our friend tim lowly (who's also our pastor's husband). tim used to be a professional house painter, and i think we'll need his professional caliber help. as for me and cadence, i took monday off work, so we will be roaming the streets looking for places to hang out until we are allowed back in the abode. i'm hoping my mom will ba back in town (she's been in L.A. for some reason) by then so i can go hang out at her place.

we're using non-toxic paint, so it really shouldn't smell too bad. we just need to keep cadence away long enough for it to dry. surprisingly, non-toxic paint is very affordable, and they can mix just about any benjamin moore color. we got ours at green maker building supply. i highly recommend using non-toxic paint. you'd be surprised how much toxins interior paints can emit for years and years. i'm tellin' ya. all that cancer and infertility out there probably has something to do with all the toxins we've polluted our air with, not just outdoors but in our homes too.

anyhoo. baby's squealing in the other room. gotta go.

as you can see from this photo taken on saturday, cadence is still sick. that nose of hers just will not stop running.

but that didn't deter her from trying new things, like riding a horsey at the playground.

...or making goofy faces at the camera...this just happens to be the face she ALWAYS makes when i turn the LCD display on the camera so she can see herself...such a goofball...

and she still looked pretty darn cute on easter sunday, all dressed up looking like a kid, not just a baby any more...

i have to admit that i really enjoy dressing her up. i can't wait for the really warm weather to begin so i can put her in all those adorable sundresses hanging in her closet.

anyhoo. easter is a big to-do in ted's family, and this year was no different. it was a big gathering with all local extended family. cadence ran around chasing the older girls who were twice her size. she must have run a few miles during the course of the afternoon and evening. she was so exhausted when we got home that she fell asleep the moment her head touched my shoulder when ted handed her to me after she was changed into her pjs.

last night, cadence and i went for a walk during the hour of the gloaming. as you can see, she loves going up and down stairs, although normally she's holding onto my hand, and she's always really really cautious. her little legs are still too short to navigate staircases with any speed or much confidence.

the shadows were so long, and the light was gorgeous. i really love that golden hour of the gloaming...

one of cadence's favorite things to do these days is to walk so fast that i have to trot to keep up with her. she definitely has an independent streak, that one does.

and can i just say how much i *heart* gingham? especially when it's on my little cadence? i've always had a weakness for clothes that look like they were made out of tablecloths from an italian restaurant.

well, we've had a sick baby on our hands for the past week. it's been aitch-ee-double-hockey-sticks around here. cadence has been unusually cranky with this bout of the cold. i know it's normal for there to be some crankiness accompanying an illness, but cadence has been usually pretty good-natured through out all her few sicknesses. maybe this one has been more painful than her past ones. for a few nights there, i thought i was going to go crazy because i was having such a hard time calming her down, and she'd just keep waking up throughout the night. ted has been the fortunate one, sleeping on the air mattress in the living room, since cadence won't have anything to do with him after 9pm.

i don't know where she picked up this particularly nasty bug. she was doing so well last weekend. we had a good time at my aunt's 60th birthday party at a korean restaurant. she sat through a 2 1/2 hour dinner like a real trooper.

she was so friendly with everyone at the dinner and probably enjoyed the attention of being the only one in the room to have been born in the 21st century. it was also nice that my brother and cousins sherline and debbie were there to dote on her.

on monday, it was such a beautiful day out, and cadence felt well enough to break in her new pink chuck taylors at the park. her feet look so huge in them, and they make her look older for some reason. i guess they just look like grown up shoes, even in pink.

we had a good time at the park, which was totally crowded since it was the first day of spring that actually felt like spring. cadence just stared at all the kids running around. i don't think she's ever seen so many kids at once before.

well, it was all downhill after that...her nose turned into a fountain of snot, and she was running a fever and coughing too...she probably had some other aches and pains that we couldn't discern due to the language barrier, and she's been pretty difficult to deal with. but you know, it's all part of parenthood. i'm sure she's not enjoying this sickness any more than we are...

we are realizing that cadence knows more words than we're aware of...just last night, she asked for some 'mo' sin? sin?' i was like 'huh?' until i saw her pointing at a big bag of raisins. oh, that kind of 'sin'! sometimes it gets confusing...like when she asks for some 'ee-ee-oh's' (trans: cheerios) and simultaneously points to the living room and asks 'ee-ee-oh?' (trans: video). her favorite phrases these days are some variation on the word go. 'here go' (trans: here you go) or 'whur go?' (where'd it/she/he go?) or just 'go!'

she is also enjoying bathtime much more now that we've brought toys into the picture. this is the waterpark bath toy set she got from cousins vikki and mackenzie for her birthday.

now, it's hard to get her out of her bath before she gets pruny hands and feet...i can't wait until summer so we can take her to a real swimming pool! i hope she's not scared of water...i'm really counting on her to learn swimming early in life.

so my cousin ben and his wife rachel were in town this past weekend, and they bought cadence her first lego set! all the cousins got to hang out, and it was really good to see the newlyweds, whom i hadn't seen since their wedding in NJ last june. cadence loves her new lego set, and i knew she would because there's a kitty cat AND a dog in it! i also learned that she knows how to mooo like a cow, cuz when she saw the cow piece, she went 'moo.' i think i find out something new everyday that cadence knows that i didn’t realize she knew. i guess she is at that sponge stage. i just hope she will soon understand what it means when i say ‘mommy, ow!’ when she nurses…

and today was her first day of anything that remotely resembles school...she had her first tumbling class today through the park district. can you believe she’s old enough for organized class activities?? she barely made the cut, since it’s for 18 month and up. ted told me she basically ran around saying hi to everyone the whole time. she wouldn’t do log rolls, but she did walk on the balance beam while ted was holding her hand. and our friend ada grey is in the class too, which is exciting. i’m going to take off one of these tuesdays so i can go to class with her.