Shutterbug Mama

I'm Surviving But My Hair's Turning Grey

2008-07-04T09:42:00.002-05:00

We're on Day 8 here without Ted, and I'm hanging in there, but I don't quite feel on top of the world I have to admit.

We've been getting postcards regularly from Daddy while he's on the road, and we've talked just about every day. Quite honestly, I don't think Cadence realizes how many days have passed, and it seems like she still thinks Daddy is at work and this is just one really really long work day.

We're currently on an impromptu mini-vacation to downtown Chicago. I found a room at a 4-star hotel (The Palmer House Hilton) for $76 on Hotwire, so we came down here yesterday afternoon for the 4th of July festivities. We don't have much of a view, and the room is tiny.

But the bed sure is great for jumping on. AND it's king size, so we had PLENTY of room. So much so that Cadence actually did a circle lying in different parts of the bed throughout the night. I found her lying horizontally at the foot of the bed at one point. I'm glad I woke up before she fell off.

Although I have mixed feelings about this holiday (I am not a proponent of blind patriotism, and much of what mainstream America stands for makes my stomach ache), I'm not going to argue about a day off, especially when it's on the most perfect summer day imaginable--sunny and in the mid-70s. Like a Seattle summer day.

Anyhoo, gotta run. Have to pack and check out in an hour. More photos later.

Best Shot(s) Monday--Just The Two of Us

2008-06-30T12:46:00.003-05:00

Here we are at Day 4 of 10 Days Without Daddy. So far so good, I'd say. We went to the Children's Museum on Saturday, where Cadence had a blast as usual.

The nice thing about this age is that she's still young enough that she doesn't get bored of doing things over and over again. She loves this blue car and kept going back to it over and over again throughout our several hours there.

Cadence loves seeing herself on a TV screen, that's for sure. Yeah, she's the kid who loiters at entrances to grocery stores making funny faces at the security camera.

Cadence developed a fever Saturday evening. I was worried she was getting sick, so we stayed home Sunday morning and just chilled. Her fever seems to come and go, and she's got a bit of a cough which manifests mainly when she's sleeping. I'm hoping it's nothing serious and goes away without any other symptoms popping up.

We tried to go to the zoo on Sunday...wait, let me back up. We tried to go to the Pride Parade on Sunday, but I realized that leaving the house 10 minutes before the Parade was supposed to start would most probably mean we'd miss the whole thing. That's when I asked Cadence if she'd like to go to the zoo instead, and of course she said yes. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who thought the zoo would be a good idea on a lovely Sunday afternoon. The traffic was SOOOOOOOO horrendous, and parking was virtually impossible, so I gave up and decided to get a cupcake at Bleeding Heart Bakery instead.

Oh well. At least I got my cupcake. Next time, we'll take the bus...

For more Best Shots, visit Melody of Slurping Life.

It's Just 10 Days

2008-06-26T23:36:00.003-05:00

In around 6 hours, Ted will be heading east on tour w/ The Tim Lowly Ensemble. He'll be gone for 10 days, the longest he's been gone since Cadence was born, and the longest we've been separated as a couple since his Germany trip when we first started dating.

We spent our last evening together before the extended separation eating brats in Lincoln Square, getting milkshakes at Potbelly and taking some goofy photos.

As most of you know, Ted is a stay-at-home dad, so Cadence spends most of her awake time with him. Not only that, Ted does 99% of the cooking and 80% of the cleaning and 75% of the laundry. Plus he works two days a week at Trader Joe's and brews a LOT of beer. I won't miss the beer brewing so much, but the cooking? I'm not sure how Cadence and I are going to eat...

I don't think Cadence realizes what's going on. We've been telling her that Daddy's going on a trip, a LOOOOONG trip, but she has no concept of that because neither one of us has been away from her for more than one night since she's been old enough to remember. To her, a long trip is going out to Grandma and Grandpa's house an hour away. We'll see how this goes...

In case anyone reading this wants to see Ted's show, here is a list of towns they are playing. If you are near any of them, go to Tim Lowly's Myspace page for more details. If you DO go to a show, make sure you say hi to Ted, and if you're lucky, he may share a homebrew with you.

Jun 27 2008 8:00P Allegheny UUC (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
Jun 28 2008 6:00P Art Center (Warren, PA)
Jun 29 2008 2:00P Kirkland Art Center (Clinton, New York)
Jun 29 2008 7:00P The Miller Family Home (West Monroe, New York)
Jun 30 2008 8:00P The Advent (Boston, Massachusetts)
Jul 1 2008 8:00P Pianos Upstairs Lounge (New York, New York)
Jul 2 2008 8:00P St. Andrews Summer Series (Block Island, RI)
Jul 3 2008 8:00P St. Stephen and the Incarnation (Washington, DC)
Jul 5 2008 8:00P The Good Cherry (Forest, Virginia)
Jul 6 2008 1:15P Bedford CC (Bedford, Virginia)

HS Friends, Hapa Kids Convention and Buy/Byes

2008-06-25T12:11:00.000-05:00

I'm going to give it another go at posting from the weekend, so bear with me. First of all, this weekend was Josh-o-rama, an event that occurs once, twice, sometime three times a year when my friend Josh descends upon Chicago and makes his rounds. This year, since a number of us Mather High alums were reunited via Facebook, more folks were able to participate in Josh-o-rama, including my very first friend at Mather, Kae.

I should probably mention that although it seems that my shutterbugging tendencies sometimes annoy Josh, it was actually because of him that I made the fateful jump from film to digital over 6 years ago. I got my very first Nikon Coolpix 995 to document his 30th surprise birthday party, and I was hooked by the instant gratification. My blog made its debut a mere two weeks later. Anyhoo, we had so much fun getting together w/ the old high school crowd we're gonna do it again in a month.

Saturday afternoon, Cadence and I met up at a Korean restaurant with some of my fellow blogger friends. I'm so glad I got permission to post this photo (their blogs are anonymous) because these kids were SO DARN CUTE. It really was like a Hapa Kids Convention. They all had a great time playing together. They're all kinda like bloggy cousins, if you know what I mean. I hope we can do it again soon!

On Sunday, we went to a Buy/Bye party at the apartment of our church friends Hilary and Katie (pictured above). Katie is going to start an artist-in-residency on a farm sometime in July, and so they put up much of their belongings for sale (hence the buy part of the buy/bye party) before they both move out of their apartment.

I love how they had decorated their home. It was like living in an art gallery. Both Hilary and Katie are really creative, so it's no big surprise. They had some cool stuff for sale as a result, like this old Polaroid Land Camera.

I also loved these beautiful rag strips rolled into balls. I'm going to have to maybe make my own and just display them because they are so darn lovely.

There was a bit of a thunderstorm during the party, and then the sun came out in its gloaming glory, revealing a huge rainbow in the eastern sky. I know it doesn't come out all that clearly in the photo, but trust me--it was beautiful.

Cadence had a blast at the party, at least after Rudden and his family showed up. It's a nice break for me when Cadence has someone her own size to play with, and I can actually talk to other grown-ups or shoot photos, depending on my mood. They actually played house at one point. With a baby and everything. I just don't know how kids learn these things...To his credit, though, Rudden did the cooking (which would more closely model our family in which Cadence thinks that daddys and grandmas are the only ones who cook).

So that's the weekend roundup. In less than two days, I will be flying solo around here while Ted goes on tour, and I don't know how much I'll be online. I'm thinking about maybe getting away overnight somewhere w/ just Cadence and me. We'll see...Aw, who am I kidding. Aint' no way I'll find anything w/ the 4th of July holiday coming up. Oh, well...

Best Shot(s) Monday--The Manic Edition*

2008-06-23T12:13:00.006-05:00

Ok, so I know I always break the BEST shot rule by posting a gazillion shots, so I'll just say right out this is my favorite from the week, even though that would be fibbing because I really can't make up my mind. I need to stop taking so many photos...

And with that, I give up finishing this post because I am truly, truly lazy like that.

Oh, wait. I changed my mind.

Ain't that an awesome photo of my friend Amy (Rudden's mom)? I just had to post that. The red couch, which is Hilary & Katie's (whose apt. the party was at) but soon to be somebody else's, was a killer prop for photos. I bet if you put a rotten potato on it and shot a photo, it would make Couch (Rotten) Potato look totally Pottery Barn. Oh wait, I'm not in ANY way comparing Amy to a rotten fermenting lump of starch. That was just a badly juxtaposed set of sentences and images. Sorry. Well, Amy knows I think the world of her, so I'll just leave it. I have no idea how to rearrange that paragraph.

Here's another Red Couch photo. This one's got the current owner on it. Just look at that texture. Yeah, it's kinda worn out, but that gives it CHARACTER, and y'all know what a sucker I am for stuff that's got CHARACTER.

Ok. That's it for now. I will have a catch-up-on-the-crazy-weekend post soon. Just not now.

*It's called The Manic Edition because--oh, gosh, never mind. It's just another Manic Monday and let's leave it at that.

See more folks' Best Shots on Tracey's Mother May I.

Dancing By Myself

2008-06-20T12:29:00.002-05:00

I've already mentioned that I never went to my senior prom, but since I grew up in a fundie home, I was never really allowed to do any type of social dancing as a kid, period. When we were in that cult (from my ages 4-17), there were elaborately choreographed dances that were performed (because the cult leader liked that cultured stuff like ballet and classical music), but none of us kids ever got to go to a regular school dance, unless it was maybe for proselytizing purposes.

Nevertheless, there was always a dancer in me, and when I finally broke out of my fundie surroundings, I embraced my inner dance with exuberance and abandon. Granted, I couldn't do a foxtrot or a simple waltz or anything related to swing dancing to save my life. In fact, any type of dance that required a partner was not within my realm of possibilities. I remember being on the dance floor w/ my girlfriend when we were probably not even 21, and she asked me in an exasperated tone, "Can't you just dance NORMAL?!" I remember thinking to myself, "Like, WHY would I wanna dance NORMAL??!!"

So why am I bringing all this up? Well, I'm reading a book right now called The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd (author of The Secret Life of Bees, one of my favorite books of the past couple years), and there's stuff a-stirring in me.

While I've considered myself a feminist for some time, I've never fully examined or even admitted my wounds derived from being born female in a male-dominated society, and especially growing up female in a male-dominated church tradition. It's easy for me to gloss over and just forget about, now that I go to a church pastored by a woman, where most of the leaders are also women, or now that I'm in a non-traditional household where I, the wife, am the main breadwinner, while my husband takes care of our child and keeps house.

And yet, there is a defiance taking shape inside of me. I'm two-thirds of the way through the book, and there is a rumbling in my soul, the sound of an avalanche in the distance gaining speed and momentum. I don't know when the rumble will be a roar deafening my ears, and to be honest, I'm hesitant and afraid.

I think this one's gonna take a while to unfold.

I haven't danced in a long time. At least not my wild dance, the dance that comes from within, from the deepest part of myself, that dance that is mine and mine alone. Maybe that dance will emerge again. I hope so...Because I don't EVER want to "dance NORMAL."

Best Shot(s) Monday--The Father's Day Edition

2008-06-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

Since yesterday was Father's Day, here is a photo of Cadence and her Daddy. This was taken at a Trader Joe's crew party where Ted had 4 kegs of his homebrew available for tasting.

He also had a keg of root beer available, which he brewed w/ Cadence's help just a week or so ago.

And this is the photo I used for yesterday's Shutter Sister's post in which I said some very nice things about Ted.

Boy. He never takes that hat off, does he?

Speaking of my Stay-At-Home-Daddy of a hubby, Ted and his gang of merry musicians (a.k.a. The Tim Lowly Ensemble) will be heading off on a 10-day tour of the Eastern States starting June 27th. So they rehearsed last night, on Father's Day, because they really need to I guess, and I'm ashamed to say that we didn't actually do anything special for Father's Day except go to church. I didn't even make him breakfast. In fact, he made ME a delicious breakfast that involved english muffins, cream cheese and wild salmon. And then I had the beginning of a migraine after church, so we all took a family nap until 3:30, and then I sent Ted out to eat a late lunch w/ his brother Dave at their favorite Indian restaurant Bhabi's Kitchen, which I'm not too fond of as Indian restaurants go. I guess that was a Father's Day break for Ted, being able to have grown-up brotherly conversation AND his favorite food. He sure deserves it.

So I had Cadence all to myself last night, and we took a nice long walk to a park and played until the sun went down.

You can see more folk's Best Shots on Tracey' Mother May I.

Showroom No. 6 Performance This Friday!!!

2008-06-10T12:09:00.002-05:00

Some of you may remember an interesting photoshoot I did in April of my friend Jessica Hannah's graduate thesis performance/installation for Columbia College. Well, Jessica and her fellow robotic housewives will be performing once again this Friday, June 13th (an auspicious date, eh?) to open Ladylike: A Proper Take on Feminist Art group exhibit at Koscielak Gallery in Wicker Park.

I'm especially excited as Jessica has informed me that the curator will make prints of my photos available for purchase if anyone is interested. I don't know who would want to buy photos of robotic companions, but it's just exciting to think that someone POSSIBLY might. Plus, the gallery is using a couple of my photos to promote the show, one on their website and one on the invite for the opening reception:

Two of the artists also exhibiting are Korean-American women, so I want to check that out too. If you have the chance to see this on Friday night, I highly recommend it. The performance piece of Jessica's installation will only be for this Friday night. There's some video and other visual stuff that will be part of the exhibit through July 3oth.

So here's the info:

LADYLIKE: A proper take on feminist art
Krista Babbitt (Chicago), Andrea Dezso (New York), Jessica Hannah (Chicago), Sally Ko (Chicago), Ke-Sook Lee (Kansas City),Emma McCagg (New York), Lorraine Peltz (Chicago), Abigail Pope (New York), Susan Sensemann (Chicago),Stacia Yeapanis (Chicago).

The exhibition LADYLIKE is curated by Joanne Hinkel.
Opening reception
Friday, June 13, 2008
6 - 9 pm
Koscielak Gallery
1646 N. Bosworth Ave
Exhibition runs through July 31st.

Weekend In Review II

2008-06-10T12:03:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm feeling a bit more up to posting photos from the weekend after taking a half-day vacation yesterday. Just a few of my favorites. You can see ALL my favorites in the pictobrowser in yesterday's post. As you can see from this shot above, we were kinda high up above the beach. So the wedding ended up being on the lawn overlooking the beach, and not actually on the beach, because somebody probably would've hurt themselves trying to walk down to the beach (most likely me).

I took this one of the groom Dave and two of his siblings through the screen door. I like the soft glow the screen door filter created, kind of like the time I took a photo of Cadence through a pair of pink tights.

I thought this was a cute one of my friend Alana the bride peeking out while waiting to walk down the "aisle." I loved all the songs that were played as part of the prelude, including Big Star's "I'm In Love With a Girl", which kind of threw me for a loop as this is the first song on Cadence's Sleepy Songs CD which we play for every nap and at bedtime. I almost started looking for Cadence so I could put her to bed. They also played Wedding Day, which our friend Ian Moore often sings (it's an Alejandro Escovedo song) and which I also played as part of the prelude for my wedding. The wedding party walked down to "New Day," one of my favorite Ian Moore songs (Ian is how Alana and I know each other).

And this is the maid of honor, Alana's oldest daughter Autumn. This is probably my favorite people shot from the evening. She just looks so elegant and beautiful.

I thought it was funny that there was no champagne at the wedding, but there WAS Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers. Heehee. I love how casual and laid back the whole wedding was, and this photo captures it pretty well.

This photo makes me so happy. Click on the photo to see a larger version, and you'll see that the dad's umbrella matches the daughter's outfit and vice versa. It was during the dancing portion of the reception. Yeah, it rained.

It rained ALOT. But that didn't stop the bride from dancing with her guests, even if an umbrella was required.

And here are the newlyweds smooching it up again. She actually pulled him in by his necktie to get this kiss.

Here's a non-wedding photo from the weekend. I wish I could say I actually took the time to look around, but I was anxious to get home, so I only made one little stop by a field of dandelions for a couple shots.

So that's it in a nutshell. The entire wedding photo set (of all 302 photos) is on my other Flickr if anyone's interested.

Thanks for all your well-wishes and votes of confidence. It was a really good learning experience for me.

Weekend In Review

2008-06-09T15:00:00.005-05:00

As you can see from this photo, my friend Alana did indeed tie the knot this weekend. Here she is kissing her husband Dave for the very first time as his wife.

Okay, so the title of this post is misleading, as I'm too tired to do an actual review. I'll let the PictoBrowser* do that for me with some of my favorite photos from the special day. Suffice it to say that there were tornado warnings and a lightning storm that lasted, oh, from around 9:30 until at least the time I got back to my hotel after midnight. I learned a lot from this experience, and I'm so thankful to Alana and Dave for entrusting me with the honor of documenting their special day.

*FYI, if you're reading this on my Facebook FlogBlog, the PictoBrowser won't be visible unless you click on the link to the actual blog post on my domain.

Friday Confession

2008-06-06T12:48:00.002-05:00

I have the distinct honor and pleasure of photographing my friend Alana's wedding tomorrow. She is a talented designer, photographer, musician, and hot rock 'n' roll mama. I'm so happy for her and her almost-hubby-Dave. It's going to be a beach sunset wedding in Michigan, so no stuffy boring wedding here.

So why the need for a confession? Well, two things. First of all, this will be my first wedding as THE photographer. That scares the bejeebus out of me. I've had butterflies in my stomach for over a week now. I know I should just get over myself, but I still get that, "What if I totally f*ck up?" knot in my brain every time I do a semi-important photoshoot. Wanna know why I'm not shooting photos for a living? This is why. The stress would kill me, I think. And still, I know I'm just second guessing. So like I said, I should just get over myself.

Second, Ted couldn't get off of work for the wedding. Since bringing Cadence to the wedding without someone to watch her would spell potentially disastrous results for my shutterbug duties, I reluctantly decided to leave her at home. What's the big deal? Well, this is an overnight trip, and I've never spent a night away from Cadence since she emerged from my womb. Ok, there was that one Wilco/Detholz! concert in Urbana that I photographed when she was five months old and I didn't get home until the middle of the night, but I was only gone a total of 12 hours then. I skipped Wilco's encore AND pumped breastmilk in the car while Ted drove to keep our time away to a minimum.

I know a bunch of you are laughing at me that I'm actually not jumping up and down with glee that I get a night all to myself in a waterfront hotel in lovely Saugatuck, MI. I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I know Cadence will be just fine. I should just embrace this opportunity to be alone to do whatever the heck I want (within reason, of course). Still...I'm gonna feel mighty out of place without my family in tow.

Oh, and this is totally off topic, but some old high school friends and I got together last week while our friend Steve Elliott was in town. Steve has been making quite a name for himself as an author, and was even awarded the Stegner Fellowship @ Stanford University a few years ago, which is a far cry from his teenage days as a ward of the state or homeless in Rogers Park. Anyhoo, it was fun to hang out and catch up.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Best Shot(s) Monday--Back to the Cadence Channel

2008-06-02T12:06:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've lately neglected my duty to post an adequate amount of photos of Cadence, so it's a good thing I took a whole bunch of photos of her this weekend. Here she is sporting her new Woody Guthrie dress that I made on the train last week. It just so happens that Woody has been a long-time dead celebrity crush for me, along with the likes of Nick Drake (hopeless, I know) and Dostoevsky.

Okay, I realize this isn't a photo of Cadence, but just take my word for it that Cadence was only a couple feet away from where this shot was taken. Besides, I just couldn't resist posting a photo of Baby Jack double-fisting shakey eggs. Just look at that stance, that grasp, those curly locks!

And this may SEEM like a photo of Rudden, but if you look carefully, you will notice Cadence right behind him, like a little crown upon his head. I just couldn't resist the synchronicity of this shot. It's like the kids are performing an intricately choreographed dance of BLUR.

OK, back to the Cadence Channel. We decided after church yesterday that it would be a good idea to let Cadence run around some more in Giddings Plaza. Since Cafe Selmarie is right there, we lunched on their delectable oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (just two--one for me and one for Cadence; Ted's on a really party-pooping liver cleanse this week) and fresh squeezed OJ. Talk about a sugar high. At least I got this sweet shot of Cadence. I usually hate photographing in bright sun (and yesterday's light quality can only be described as blindingly bright sunshine), but I caught this moment when some light was inexplicably shining onto her face, and she actually WAITED for me to press the shutter! She must've known she looked good or something.

While walking back to our car, Cadence happened to spy this sad looking dandelion growing in a sparsely green dirt patch, and I just love how she bent down to smell it, as if it were the most fragrant blossom to ever grace her path. Then she picked it and showed it to me.

Then she tried to blow the wishes away, but alas, they were all gone already. Oh well. I just love how good Woody looks in this photo...

And now I reveal to you my most embarrassing photo technique, just discovered yesterday, and that is the Laptop Reflector. I realized that the glow of the laptop on Cadence's face as she numbed her mind on some Nick Jr. was quite suitable for photographing her in our dimly lit dining room.

Can you just SEE the brain cells taking a flying leap into oblivion? Eh, I still happen to really like the effect.

Her face looks much better lit up like this, believe me. And the glow is so subtle, it's...perfect.

We did get outside before the sun went down, since it was a beautiful day and all. Cadence even got to find some more "flowers" that actually had wishes left on them.

Since dandelions breed like bunnies in our neighborhood, Cadence was able to gather up armfuls of them.

I just love how some of our neighbors let their weeds grow wild. Well-kempt lawns are so over-rated. If it weren't for those cars in the background, you'd think this photo had been taken in the country, or forest preserves, at least. And I bet if I hadn't said anything about those cars, you wouldn't have even noticed.

Back indoors, Cadence had some nekkid time. FYI, I don't post totally nekkid photos of my kid for the whole universe to see because, believe it or not, I have SOME boundaries. Well, actually, it's to save folks out there with REAL boundaries the trouble of wasting their time judging me. I see it as an act of charity and not self-censorship.

So you'll just have to take my word for it that the sight of a totally nekkid Cadence banging on her toy piano while doing Max's Wild Rumpus dance was quite the visual extravaganza. And I know she's doing the Wild Rumpus dance because while she's jumping up and down and hopping from foot to foot while her hands do the same on the piano, she's yelling, "AND now, let the WILD RUMPUS START!"

Gotta love this kid.

You can see more folk's Best Shots on Tracey' Mother May I.

P.S. I have a post up on Shutter Sisters. Check it out to find your chance to win a totally awesome photo book.

My Six Squared Birthday

2008-05-26T21:48:00.003-05:00

That's right, folks. It's my six-squared birthday today. I'm well on my way towards the middle ages now. Let's just hope with the older will come the wiser.

I have no idea how to catch y'all up on this weekend. Saturday, Sunday and Monday were devoted to friends, food and frolicking. It was more than a birthday girl could ever ask for.

Our friends Sarah, Ben and Eleanor were in town from Grand Rapids this weekend, thereby creating the impetus for much of the fun. Ben is the Ben of Ribbons of Song and Ben and Bruno, two bands that The Tim Lowly Ensemble has played with on numerous occasions. Sarah is one of the coolest moms I know, and Eleanor is about as spunky and creative a kid as 3 year olds get.

We threw a Panini Party for folks who know Sarah & Ben on Saturday night. Cadence was SO excited about Eleanor coming over. All day Saturday she kept asking when Eleanor would get there. It was probably one of the few times when she couldn't wait for the sun to go down because that's when I told her we'd see Eleanor.

It was a great time just hanging out and eating yummy food (and drinking yummy framboise for me and homebrew for others). Cadence is quite fond of Sarah, and I just love this shot of them reading together.

Sunday evening, we hung out at a park before grabbing some awesome Thai food. The weather was gorgeous, and it was just perfect for a lazy Sunday late afternoon romp in the park.

Here's a pictobrowser of the rest of the photos from the evening. It was a total treat to be able to spend two evenings in a row w/ Sarah and Ben and Eleanor.

On Monday, my cousins came over to hang out. It wasn't officially a birthday celebration, although it was my cousin Kris's and my birthdays this week. We did have cake and ice cream, at Cadence's insistence.

Another reason for the get-together was that my cousin Ben and his wife Rachel and daughter Eden are moving to New Jersey next week. Baby Eden has been one of my favorite kids to photograph, and I will really miss them. She's just great in front of the camera, and it's been a total delight watching her get bigger and bigger.

Cadence missed her nap today, and by the time 6pm rolled around, she was looking pretty beat. Out of desperation, we gave her a piece of chocolate truffle to hopefully keep her awake for just a little bit longer.

And this is how I found her 5 minutes after the truffles. Apparently, our plan failed.

Other than the total meltdown she had when we tried to wake her from her slumber (we really are stupid sometimes), she has been so sweet to me this weekend, wishing me happy birthday numerous times and telling me she loves me and that I'm her favorite friend. She's the best birthday present I could ask for.

Coming Up For Air

2008-05-23T13:03:00.006-05:00

This is usually a quiet time of the year for me at work, but something came up that's thrown me into temporary busyness resulting in working while on the train, through lunch, at home, in the middle of the night, etc, and that's put a serious damper on my ability to post here. So here I go again with the random thoughts/updates and random photos.

Remember my voluntary simplicity mantra for the year? Well, it's the end of May, and I feel like I've gotten nowhere with that. I feel really pathetic saying this, but I think it would take an intervention like getting on a Reality TV show to get my butt in gear in terms of purging and decluttering our lives. But it's not just the physical stuff. It's my mind that needs decluttering too.

I find that I simply rush through my day, seldom taking time to notice the little things, such as these delicate flowers on the side of the pavement, these little encapsulations of purity and beauty. I don't take the time to breathe in deeply, or to quiet myself, or to connect to myself, let alone God or those around me. I wonder what it would take to change that?

So I was in the dining room the other day when I heard Cadence's voice coming from her room, saying, "Oh please don't go! We'll eat you up, we love you so!" I grabbed the camera to capture this photo of her "reading." It's the first book that she's taken to reciting, and now she walks around our home saying in the same cackly voice I use, "...And they GNASHED their terrible teeth, and they GNASHED their terrible eyes, and they GNASHED their terrible claws..." She apparently really likes the word GNASHED. It really tickles me so that she loves this book so much, because she is most definitely My Wild Thing, and that's what I love so much about her.

Speaking of Cadence, she's been under the weather the past couple days. She doesn't get sick very often, so when she does, I tend to get a little bit anxious. It hasn't been too bad so far. Just some head congestion. She tried to nurse yesterday morning and just couldn't breathe so she gave up. She later made a comment that I was "empty" and that she just couldn't do it. That made me wonder if that's how she'll self-wean, as my supply continues to dwindle, and it gets harder and harder for her to get a let-down. She must be breathing better by now because she was able to nurse last night and this morning, which I'm glad about because I prefer her to get as much breastmilk as possible when she's sick so I can pass on my antibodies.

Ted's been busy brewing up all kinds of beer. We've had lots of it in kegs lately, which is a whole new way of drinking homebrew. For those who know the joys of drinking draught beer, especially really good draught beer, you can believe that this is probably one of those no-turning-back experiences. For Ted, at least. I only drink the foamy part (and you sure can get good foam when you can control your own carbonation in a keg).

In case you haven't noticed, for the past couple months, the only shoes Cadence will wear unless cajoled otherwise are her black sparkly ballerina flats. She wears them to church, to the park, to the grocery store, to the children's museum, to the library, to the cafe, and yes, when she's driving in her little car. Needless to say, they're starting to fall apart. I finally took her shoe-shopping last night, and she INSISTED on a pink version of the sparkly shoes. Then I showed her a little less showy pair of floral canvas ballerina flats which she agreed to buy instead, and I convinced her to also accept a pair of gender neutral black canvas slip-on sneakers for the playground.

When we got home, however, she said some stuff that kind of gave me pause. She said something to the effect of "I'm a girl, so I like these shoes [meaning the flowery ballerina flats]," and she expressed less enthusiasm for the black gender neutral sneakers. As I've mentioned before, we're trying hard not to raise a little princess who will be looking for her prince in shining armor to "save" her. This is something I feel strongly about because when I was a young girl, I wanted to be a photojournalist for National Geographic, and my mother told me women don't do things like that. I know I shouldn't get too worked up about it, but it scares me how quickly this whole gender socialization thing happens.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I had a post up on Shutter Sisters last Sunday. You can read all about it here.

Also, one of my photos from 826CHI's prom was picked for Gapers Block's Rearview for Tuesday May 20th. My friend Justin saw it and told me about it. That was kinda cool.

Alright, I think that's enough for now. Happy long weekend everyone!

Best Shot(s) Monday--PROM!!!

2008-05-19T12:24:00.002-05:00

So I never went to my senior prom 18 years ago. I was too busy that night loving Jesus in Wisconsin (read: church retreat). I've never really regretted not going, but now that I'm a grown-up and don't care so much about appearances or being in the cool crowd, I've thought for some time that it would be fun to go to an adult prom. My friends at the Maplewood entity threw one last spring, and the photos were a hoot. I didn't go, of course, because I'm generally lame like that. This past Saturday, though, I got to go to prom. It was for 826CHI's fundraiser, and I went as a photographer. Although I was there dressed in mere jeans and a t-shirt (albeit a cool restructured Green Lantern t-shirt), it was still fun to be in the midst of the wild rumpus. I don't have too much time to post, so I'll just share some of my faves from that night.

There is something I just love about this one. Perhaps it's the ridiculous juxtaposition of this lovely, peaceful-looking blonde next to the girl in the gaudy green.

Oh, the things some guys will do to impress the ladies. I like the somewhat amused look on the girl's face.

I was tickled by the sight of this pile of shoes and accoutrement on the floor that just kept getting bigger and bigger as the night progressed. As crazy as things got, people were pretty good about dancing AROUND the pile and not falling over it.

Did I mention there was an 80's cover band? Called The Power of Love? They were a lot of fun, as you can probably tell from their outfits.

I didn't check the bathroom stalls or stairwells, but I'm sure there was some making out going on. I snuck a shot of this couple through a screendoor.

In the interest of time and space, I'll just post a pictobrowser of my Flickr set of faves from the night. If you want to see all 220 photos from that night, you can check out my other Flickr site.

You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Best Shot(s) Monday--The Sunday Edition

2008-05-11T17:37:00.007-05:00

I know I'll be way too busy tomorrow to post since I plan on working through lunch, so here are my best shots of the week.

This one is especially for my good friend Amy (Rudden's mom), who couldn't be at church w/ us today. I told Rudden to let me take a few photos of him for Mother's Day, and this is one of my favorites.

I really love this shot of Rudden and Cadence. I know it's really similar to another shot taken of them in the exact same place, but I still find it irresistible.

There's something about this photo too that I just love. I really enjoy observing these two's friendship. Cadence doesn't have a lot of friends, and Rudden is definitely the one she's spent the most time with. They squabble and fight like two siblings would, but I've also witnessed some tender moments in which they expressed genuine concern for the other. Seeing Cadence care for and delight in her little friends has been one of the greatest joys of motherhood.

Speaking of which, it's been a cold and wet and windy Mother's Day here in Chicago. We were going to go out to my mom's in the burbs for dinner, but she's not feeling well, so we're opting for Thai delivery and staying in where it's warm and dry.

There's a lot I could say about motherhood, about the joys, the heartaches, the excitement, the mundane, the hopes, the worries...Mainly, though, I'm full of amazement, even after several years of motherhood under my belt. Watching Cadence emerge as her own little person and being such a big part of her life have been more incredible than I could've ever imagined.

Happy Mother's Day to me and to all the moms out there.

You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Random Thoughts

2008-05-08T23:18:00.003-05:00

I've been really busy at work, and with last weekend's packed schedule, I have to admit I don't have much to offer on this here blog o' mine. My thoughts are all over the place lately. Excuse me if I fail at molding this here post into some semblance of coherence. This is where random thoughts come in. And random photos.

Sometimes, I get really tired of feeling like we're doing it alone. Living, parenting, being. I have this yearning to live in community w/ folks, to raise each others' kids, to grow our own food, to cook for each other, to play cards, to sing old hymns in 4 part harmony, to make art, to share books and CDs and sofas and cars as well as the occasional cup of sugar and eggs. I can't be the only one who feels like this. But how you get started on such a paradigm-shifting project? I have no clue...

As much as I love my boss and am treated well by my current company, I can't help feeling uneasy being tied down to a corporate job. Yes, it pays the bills and enables Ted to stay home with Cadence, but I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life. I have thoughts of doing photography professionally, but I'm afraid of two things: 1) not getting enough business; and 2) becoming bored with photography.

Do you know what one of my pet peeves is? Christians who think Jesus is gonna bail us out of the mess we made, so "oh, well if the rest of the earth is going to hell in a handbasket as long as we get taken up to heaven before it self-destructs." And what the hell is heaven anyways? I don't think it's gonna be one big eternal hallelujah surrounded by streets of gold and harp-strumming winged creatures. I rather like how the theologian and Anglican bishop N.T. Wright talks about heaven.

I'm still reading Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States and it is still kicking my butt. You can read some of it online here if you want to know what I'm talking about.

And then there's Cadence. She sure is something. The other day at church, our friend Matt J. held out his hand for a high five. Cadence responded by giving him her FOOT, sparkly shoe and all. Oh, and that would be the Sunday on which the first thing she did when we got to church was to pee in her pants. Of course that had to be the day that I forgot to pack an extra pair of pants. She ran around the church in her underwear and thought nothing of it. Still, she's a neater eater than I am (which isn't saying much). I just have to remember the time when the sight of Cadence peeing in the toilet unassisted was a mere fantasy and be thankful for the progress she's made so far. Now I'm fantasizing about her pooping in the toilet instead of her underwear...That day, too, shall come, I'm told...

The reality is that I'm watching my baby, who is no longer a baby or even a toddler, grow up before my very eyes, and my heart panics just a wee bit. I have no idea what to do about school. I'm afraid to put a ball of such unstoppable energy into a classroom environment, but I don't know (or am afraid of) what my other options are. I'm convinced that despite the noble intentions of many teachers, the majority of schools these days are designed to spit out conformist drones, and I can't resist rebelling against that.

Alrighty, then. I think that'll do for random thoughts. I've got more rolling around in my head, but I'm tired of typing and being awake.

No, I Haven't Changed Domains Again

2008-05-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

I'm still here, folks. I'm just kinda tired. My mind is also a bit preoccupied these days. I'm three-quarters of the way through A People's History of the United States, and it's pretty much kicking my social-justice-activist-wannabe conscience to the curb. In a good way.

Besides, the sun's been shining all spring-like, so I had to take advantage. Knowing Chicago, we'll be back in the 40's any day now.

Plus, the Tim Lowly Ensemble FINALLY had their CD release show on Friday night. I missed most of the show as I was watching Cadence in the nursery for most of it.

I let her loose in the show towards the end when things started getting a bit more rowdy. She danced like Richard Simmons on speed.

On Saturday, Ted and I watched our friends Holly and Kyle's daughter Helena all day, and we also went to Berry's Seeds of Change Marketplace, which was almost a whole-day affair.

There was a ton of music going on all day, and my good friend John Berton did a couple talks on solar energy.

Cadence had a blast playing w/ her buddies Rudden and Helena for HOURS. We tried to give them a nap in the nursery, but who were we kidding? We're just lucky no blood got shed and that all three kids LOVED chili, since that was the only main food being served at the event.

Oh, by the way, I had a post up on Shutter Sisters on Sunday. Go check it out:
Sunday School: Get Your Flare On

Best Shot(s) Monday--April Showers

2008-04-28T12:40:00.006-05:00

Well, April has been true to her motto, and we've sure had our share of rainy days this month, that's for sure.

I'm not complaining, though, when I get treated to sights like this one. The magnolias bloomed late this year, but look how beautiful they are!

Hopefully, all the rain and somewhat chilly temps we've been having will mean abundant and glorious flowers for May and the rest of summer.

I took the photos above on Thursday evening before a show at the Lincoln Square Theatre (housed in Berry Church) that was curated by Berry's band-in-residence Anathallo. The show consisted of Lake, a band from Olympia, WA who was touring w/ Half-handed Cloud (John Ringhofer) who was the headliner and also included performances by the Think/Dance collective. The show was amazing. All 3 performances would've been worth the price of admission on their own. I'm really glad I went, even though it was on a weeknight. Sometimes, I just have to make myself get out of the house after a long day of work, or I'll miss out on memorable events like this one. This was totally worth the loss of sleep. Here are some of my favorite photos from the show:

And here's a photo of Cadence for good measure. Man, I love thrift stores.

You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.