Shutterbug Mama

I sliced my finger on a knife while doing the dishes a few nights ago. I happened to be talking on the phone at the time, which goes to show that I'm just not that great of a multi-tasker. At least I got a Love Thursday photo out of it, I guess (see the hearts? see the hearts?).

It's been a rough few days. First, I lost my cellphone at the park Saturday morning. Then I sliced my finger Saturday night. Then on Monday morning, I thought I lost my wallet and missed my early train to work. I then learned that someone had found my cellphone and used it to send 90 text messages and make 50-some calls. Tuesday morning, I fell flat on my face (almost) while crossing the street and I twisted my ankle and shed some more blood. I couldn't walk and I missed the early AND late trains and had to drive to work on a morning when the Edens was two hours from the Kennedy junction to Lake Cook (usually less than 20 minutes when there's no traffic). Wednesday, I had an allergy attack that lasted the whole day (and is still going on as I type this), and I basically didn't stop sneezing the whole day. And these were no sissy sneezes. I'm talking side-and-ear-splitting sneezes that made the windows rattle.

On the bright side, I found that the lovely skirt I bought for Cadence at the thrift store a couple weeks ago has an ADJUSTABLE WAIST, so I got it to fit just right on her. Not only that, a shirt I found at a different thrift store last month matches the skirt perfectly. And the whole outfit goes great with white socks in black sparkly shoes.

So while my body is one big lump of pain and discomfort, I have to admit that putting this outfit together made my day. Simple pleasures, folks.

It's Love Thursday, folks. Go check out all the love on Shutter Sisters.

Labels: love.thursday, technical.difficulties

It is a well-documented fact that I live with two goofballs. Like father, like daughter, I suppose. Something new that Cadence has been manifesting lately, however, is an more emotional attachment to her dad. Last night, Cadence was having some painful, er, poop issues, and Ted was out w/ his brother. Cadence started crying and asking for her dad. It wasn't an angry, demanding, loud tantrumy kind of cry. It was a rather quietly pleading and sad cry accentuated by her crocodile tears. I thought my heart would break. I called Ted so Cadence could talk to him on the phone, and I think she nearly broke HIS heart too.

You know, I look that top photo of these two, and my heart just stops, wondering where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday, she was a little burrito lovingly and shyly cradled in Ted's strong arms. I knew she'd grow up fast, but these days, when I look at her running around in her big girl undies, with her long wavy hair, and her so much more grown up emotions, I am stricken with a mix of love, pride, nostalgia, joy and excitement with a twinge of fear and sadness...

Well, it's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

Labels: cadence, family, love.thursday, parenting

A couple weeks ago, I found this little heart-shaped white mark on Cadence's back. It's best to see the photo large to make out the heart (you have to scroll over until you encounter the little white mark). She just happened to be wearing her hugs and kisses pajamas, which I thought was really appropriate for documenting this little discovery.

And here's another Love-ly photo of Cadence and Rudden. They look like they're in a heart-shaped bubble. Don't get the wrong impression, though. They are great friends, but they do fight. Not too long before this photo was taken, they were fighting about something, and Rudden started to cry. Cadence immediately softened towards him and tried to comfort him. I could just hear the love in her voice as she put her hand on his shoulder and asked, "Are you sad, Rudden?" It was really sweet. And of course, in a few moments, they were laughing and playing as usual.

In case you haven't noticed, it's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

Labels: cadence, friends, love.thursday

It's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

For my Love is Love is Love (Part 1) post, click here.

I had a long talk with my mother yesterday while she was over at our place. It probably was not the typical conversation you would expect between a daughter and her conservative evangelical Christian Korean mom. It had to do with her attitudes towards homosexuality. I think it was a mutually enlightening and shocking talk for the both of us. Shocking to her because she had no idea how strongly I felt about most churches' stance on and attitudes towards the LGBT community, and shocking to me because I had no idea how misinformed she was regarding homosexuality.

The reason I brought this topic up with her is that I've been wondering about the prevalence of Koreans coming out as LGBT in Korea and in the U.S., especially among the Korean Christian church subculture. While I do not make light of the persecution and discrimination faced by those who are LGBT in any culture, I can't help wonder about their experience in Korean culture because that is something I happen to be familiar with. Koreans are deeply ingrained in Confucianism, and reverence for elders and conformity to familial and society's expectations are deeply held values, while individuality is not. I know so many Koreans even here in the U.S. who repressed their artistic inclinations and dreams to become the doctors and lawyers and financial planners that their parents desired. I used to know a guy (Korean) whose parents threatened to commit double suicide at his wedding because he was marrying someone whose social class and educational background weren't good enough for them. And you thought those Korean soap operas were being melodramatic…

So my mom said that as far as she knew, people coming out openly as being LGBT was becoming more common in Korea, but that to her it was unheard of among Korean Christians in the U.S. That latter part is a bit dubious to me, and I would attribute it to either kids not telling their parents for fear of being disowned, of disappointing their parents, of rejection, etc. or to parents being too ashamed to talk about it and pretending it isn't true.

When I asked my mother point blank what she thought about the treatment of LGBT people by the church, she said it was something that she didn't feel the need to think about. The insinuation was that she didn't think it was that big of a deal, it didn't concern her, and she didn't feel like it was an issue deserving of her time and effort. I was flabbergasted. She was basically saying that she didn't care.

And I am afraid that she is not the only one amongst those deeply entrenched in the Christian subculture. Now I think I get it, how so many churches can stand by and do nothing while a significant segment of humanity is persecuted, harassed, discriminated against, and not afforded the basic right to be who they are—openly and without fear. It's because so many are misinformed, ignorant of facts, and too uncomfortable with the subject to realize that this is something they should care about.

Here is a list of a few things my mother was unaware of or misinformed about to give you an idea:

• Until recently, she didn't realize that being gay could be inborn. She thought it was deviant behavior born of deviant choices, and I'm pretty sure she would attribute it to demons. And while she now acknowledges that some people are born gay, she still thought this was the minority and that the vast majority of homosexuals could be "cured" through prayer and counseling if they REALLY wanted to change. She really believes that ex-gay ministries are successful.

• She let it slip that she believed AIDS to be a "gay" disease and in some way evidence that God condemns homosexuality.
  

• She thought homosexuality was just about physical sex. It didn't occur to her that homosexuals fall in love like heterosexuals do and that there's so much more to it than sex. I asked her if sex was the first and only thing on her mind when she had experienced falling in love or being attracted to someone, and she sort of got my point, but I could tell she still found it hard to believe that two people of the same sex could love each other the way heterosexuals do.

• She had no idea that there was even a debate on what the Bible actually says about homosexuality. This is a very common misconception. Something that doesn't really get discussed very often in fundamentalist or even Evangelical Christian churches is that the Bible WAS NOT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH!!!!!!! This may seem like an obvious thing, but when you're raised in the church, and that printed book so revered and idolized by everyone who has authority over you says that HOMOSEXUALS are going to hell, it doesn't occur to you that the word being translated as HOMOSEXUAL could mean something entirely different from the idea of a loving, committed relationship between two people of the same sex. There is, in fact, quite a bit of debate on what the Bible says about homosexuality (the very little it supposedly gets addressed at all), and I think that many, if not most, evangelicals assume that only liberal (and therefore unbiblical) Christians would go so far as to believe that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality as a sin.

And yet, I have hope. My mother didn't shut down the conversation, for one thing, and while she said she was shocked at my level of conviction, she did ask me for some books to help her better understand the issue. And while maybe she may not become the next Peggy Campolo (Tony Campolo's wife) of the Korean community, I can hope and pray that with a dispelling of myths and lies, and by hearing the stories of real people, that she will at least have more compassion for the LGBT community and have the courage to encourage those in her community and circle of relationships to do so as well.

Labels: christianity, family, love.is.love.is.love, love.thursday

It's Love Thursday over on Shutter Sisters, so go check it out.

The image above is something I shot back in my filmSLR days of old. I stumbled upon this little anonymous tree-hugging love offering while visiting a friend in River North probably back in 2001. The reason I chose this image is because I've been wanting for a really, really long time to write about a topic I call Love is Love is Love (borrowed from Margaret Cho.) Yes, I'm talking about homosexuality and lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgendered/transsexual rights.

All you liberal, humanity-loving, diversity-embracing bloggy friends of mine may wonder why I even bother to post about this. Shouldn't it be a given that Love is Love is Love? Yeah. I know. I'm actually writing this because I come from a conservative Evangelical Christian background, and I want to do a few things.

First, I want to let my more conservative-leaning readers and friends know how I got to believe what I believe on this topic. Many of them knew me back when I was a card-carrying Evangelical, and even then I felt uncomfortable w/ the standard church teaching on this topic, and maybe some of them have the same questions I had and I want them to dig deeper and seek answers outside what the church would say. Yes, I want to challenge them, but as lovingly and humbly as I can.

Second, I want my friends and loved ones in the LGBT community to know that it IS in fact possible for a Christian to change his or her mind on this issue (I'm a prime example) and to hold onto the hope that someday they will be welcomed by the Christian community with open arms without condemnation.

Third, this is something that has weighed heavily on my heart for a few years now, and I believe very strongly that it is the prodding of the Holy Spirit. Excuse me for falling back into Evangelical jargon, but I have felt for a long time the Holy Spirit saying to me that the church's stance on homosexuality is going to be the next big shift, such as slavery and racism and the role of women were in the past. I realize that not ALL churches have changed their stances on these other issues, but for the most part the church (and I guess I'm talking mainly Protestant here) has changed its original views on these topics, even though they had once used the Bible to justify such things as slavery, racism and the submission of women.

Fourth, I'm writing about this because people are being beaten and killed because of of their sexual orientation. Now, I've said before that I believe the devil wrote the sinner's prayer, and this--this homophobia based on a few verses in Scripture that even the Biblical scholars can't agree upon, this homophobia that has historically been sanctioned by so many churches and Christian--it smells pretty devilish to me.

Anyhoo, I won't get into it all now as I'm out of time for blogging, but this will be my first installment of probably several posts over the next few weeks.

Labels: christianity, love.is.love.is.love, love.thursday

This one's from the archives way back in the beginning of January, but I've been wanting to use this photo for a Love Thursday, and Karen's post gave me the perfect opportunity.

Check out Shutter Sisters for some more Love.

Labels: family, love.thursday, photos, shutter.sisters

As some of you may know (and may be experiencing firsthand), the Midwest has been seeing lots of snow and frigid temperatures for what seems like FOREVER, and we still have over a month of winter left to go. I did find this little Love Note from Mother Nature herself when I got behind the wheel Sunday morning, and it put a little smile on my face, despite the fact that it was -20F with the windchill.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! Spread some love, y'all. Check out other folks' Love Thursday posts on Shutter Sisters.

Labels: love.thursday

This photo was taken at Ted's cousin Vikki's wedding rehearsal dinner. It's the heart locket presented to Vikki's daughter Mackenzie by Vikki and her now-husband Mike.

I remember the first time we met Mike. Vikki brought him to our monthly gathering at Ted's Grandma Sophie's house. He was shy and quiet, but so sweet that I hoped back then that someday he and Vikki would get married. Over the months, I saw how good he was to Mackenzie, and how she delighted in having a father figure in her life. After he and Vikki got engaged, Kenzie started calling him "Soon-To-Be-Daddy" because I'm sure she couldn't wait for the day when she could really call him "Daddy."

I am as happy for Mackenzie as I am for Vikki and Mike that they have formed this new family together. They are such a sweet bunch!

Check out the love on Love Thursday at Shutter Sisters.

Labels: family, love.thursday, photos, shutter.sisters

It's Love Thursday on Shutter Sisters, folks, and here's my submission. This is Cadence with her BFF Rudden. These two have been friends since before Cadence could walk, and their devotion to each other is deep and wide. Just try separating them when it's time to go home, and you'll know what I mean.

Rudden's mom is my very good friend Amy. She has been a source of strength and encouragement to me over the past couple of years, and I am so grateful for her friendship. We are learning together how to find family and community among people who were once strangers.

Last night, we did this by gathering together at our church and sharing a meal. We hope to do this regularly so that we may deepen relationships and spur one another on, whether it's to dismantle our fears or to share hope and love or to share in traditions old and new.

The simple act of taking time out from our hectic lives to cook and eat together, or to wash dishes together, or to play together--I believe these are things that will help me find family. And I am so blessed to have landed amongst a group of folks who are characterized by their arms open wide, just like their hearts, who delight in conspiracies of hope and love, who are overflowing with creativity, who make me happy simply to be...

Go soak in more love on Love Thursday at Shutter Sisters.

Labels: i.heart.berry.church, i.heart.my.friends, love.thursday, shutter.sisters

It's Love Thursday over at Shutter Sisters, and this is my submission. I absolutely love how Cadence's hair swirls into delicatle curls during bathtime. Melts my heart every time. See what else folks are loving over here.

Labels: love.thursday, photos, shutter.sisters