Shutterbug Mama

Truthiness Tuesday--The Unpainted Me

Published by Sarah-Ji on Tuesday, April 01, 2008 at 07:44.

There's a new Flickr group called Self-Portrait Truthiness and it's all about posting photos of ourselves in our bare skin. The idea brought back memories of my dad who was not a fan of make-up and who would always emphasize the importance of cultivating inner beauty, and not focusing on what I looked like on the outside. I have to admit that at the time, all I could think about was that all my friends got to wear make-up and I didn't and how I couldn't wait to be old enough to do what I wanted so I could wear some damn eye-liner and lipstick.

So I grew up to be the type of person who wouldn't go out in public without doing her makeup. I remember going camping with a bunch of my friends in my mid-twenties, and early in the morning, I was sitting at a picnic table looking into a mirror and curling my lashes, and I could sense some of my friends staring at me, and I declared, "Don't judge me." When I went on a week-long canoe trip w/ my friend John, he forbade me from wearing makeup on the trip, the thought of which horrified me at the time, but I think I managed to sneak in my eyelash curler.

Now that I'm a mother, I'm coming to terms with the values regarding outward beauty that I want to pass on to Cadence, which are surprisingly similar to what my dad tried to convey to me, although I won't forbid her from wearing makeup if that's what she chooses. This means that I will have to become comfortable in my own bare skin, so that she sees that you can be beautiful and feel beautiful without the aid of cosmetics or the latest fashions.

Honestly, I think that some of the most beautiful women I've ever seen are those who don't wear any makeup, even if their faces are weathered and wrinkled. If I can acknowledge the beauty and grace in the pure naked faces of other women, surely I can do the same for myself.

Labels: about.me, growing.up.fundie, memory.lane, motherhood, my.dad, parenting, truthiness.tuesday

Uptown Girl (For an Hour)

Published by Sarah-Ji on Friday, March 14, 2008 at 12:27.

I know I've complained and complained about the brutal winter we've had in Chicago before, so for once I am happy to report that the temperatures actually SOARED into the 50's yesterday. And thank goodness, as I've been itching to hit the streets for a photoshoot.

The winter's been extra hard on me, as it's left me uninspired to take photos of anything or anyone. Except for the occasional shots of Cadence and friends, it's been a dry spell for me shutterbug-wise. And I've especially missed one of my favorite activities--street photography.

Thanks to the time change this week, I had about an hour-and-a-half of natural light left after I got home from work last night, and I immediately rushed out with my camera. I kept things simple with just my 30mm lens since I HATE changing lenses. I didn't know where I was going to go shoot when I got in my car. I wanted to visit my favorite haunts in Wicker Park, but traffic on Clark Street was a bear, and the light wasn't getting any brighter, so I headed on over to New Chinatown in Uptown, by Argyle and Broadway.

If you live on the Northside of Chicago and get a hankering for pho or dim sum or a Chinese bakery, this is the place to go. The neighborhood is also called Little Vietnam or Little Cambodia, as many of the shops and restaurants and residents have connections to Southeast Asia, as opposed to mainland China.

While I was shooting some photos, I happened to hear someone calling my name. It was one of my best friends, John, who was riding his bike down Argyle on his way to a bar called Big Chicks on Sheridan. Funny thing was, I had left a message on John's answering machine that morning telling him I'd be doing a photoshoot that evening. I didn't say where, and he never even got the message as he hadn't been home all day, so it was quite a pleasant surprise to run into him.

I feel a bit rusty when it comes to shooting, so I'm going to have to do a bunch more of these photoshoots. Back when I was a single gal living alone on the Wicker Park/Bucktown border, I did a photoshoot wherever I went. I think that was a little extreme, and now (especially with a kid) I recognize the need to put away the camera sometimes and just let things BE. But still, I can't help feeling a bit nostalgic about those days...

I'll post some other photos from last night in a slideshow below so you don't have to keep scrolling forever. Just click on the photo to go to the next one, or click on a thumbnail to see that photo.

Labels: i.heart.chicago, memory.lane, photography, photos

Let It Snow

Published by Sarah-Ji on Friday, January 04, 2008 at 12:31.

When my family moved to the U.S. from Seoul back in 1978, we couldn't have had a harsher winter to initiate us into life in Chicago than that first one we experienced, which just happened to include the infamous blizzard of '79 that fell in January. This was the snow storm that booted the incumbent mayor out of office due to the transportation nightmare that ensued. I remember loving the snow as a kid. I guess all kids do, huh? My friend Ruthy and I must have spent hours playing in it. I don't know how we stood the cold.

I haven't played in the snow in a while, but it's kind of unavoidable if you a) have a kid and b) live in Chicago. This is the first winter that Cadence hasn't been scared of the white stuff, and now she really loves it. She even helped me shovel when it was our unit's turn to be on snow duty for our building. She is happy to just sit at our window and watch the snow come down, down, down, but what she REALLY loves is playing in it. It's one of the few times she is cooperative getting all her clothes on--socks, babylegs, undershirt, sweater, snowpants, scarf, coat, hat, mittens, and boots.

I have to say that seeing her rosy-cheeked, beaming face is totally worth freezing my butt off. Really, joy doesn't get any purer than this. I suppose some day Cadence will be old enough to go out and play in the snow by herself. But I hope I'll be the kind of mom who'll go out and make snow angels or build a snowman or snowfort right alongside her.

Labels: cadence, memory.lane

Happy Thanksgiving!

Published by Sarah-Ji on Wednesday, November 21, 2007 at 23:19.

It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is already here. I for one am grateful for a bit of a break from work. It's been rather busy, and I think the stress is what was causing all my migraines this past month. I haven't had once since last Monday morning, though, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Ted was sick in bed all day today with what seemed to be flu-like symptoms. I'm really hoping the chicken soup and lemon/ginger/honey concoctions will nip this illness in the bud. We can't to go his family's for Thanksgiving dinner if he's sick, as his two grandmas will be there. He's much better tonight, so I'm thankful for that! :)

I know that Thanksgiving is a time for family and all that good stuff, and I couldn't help thinking how difficult the whole holiday season must be for those who have no family, or for those who have recently lost loved ones. I haven't gotten too emotional about my dad in a really long time, but I did yesterday at work, just totally out the blue, with tears and everything. I think it was because the night before, I had gone to a gathering, and someone had brought their father who was visiting from England. There was something about the gentleman that reminded me of my dad, and I really missed him then.

Memories are funny that way. Just the tiniest thing can set 'em off. The twinkle in someone's eyes, the clarity and passion in someone's voice, the pattern of wrinkles on someone's face...Any one of these things can bring on the Flood.

I sometimes forget that the ache is still there. After all, one of my blog posts IS the #2 search result on google for "I miss my dad", second only to imissmydad.com. How that happened, I don't know. Every time one of them comments on that post, I think about all the people out there missing someone they love...

Anyhoo, I wish all of you fine folks a happy thanksgiving, and if you find yourself alone or lonely on this day and maybe on other days, know that if I were with you, I'd give you big hug...

Labels: memory.lane, my.dad, thanksgiving

Three Thoughts Thursday #4

Published by Sarah-Ji on Thursday, June 07, 2007 at 11:42.

#1—I've been thinking lately about my "past" lives. No, I'm not talking about "past" as in previous lives, but as in the totally different people I've been over the course of my 35 years. It's just so weird to think back to the various identities and sets of beliefs and circles of friends I've had. I've even had a number of different names. You'd think I couldn't make up my mind on who I was or something.

It's always a little awkward when I run into someone from one of these former lives. I have no idea what they've heard through the grapevine about my life since I last saw them. It's especially weird if they just assume that I'm the same as I ever was, especially regarding my thoughts on God and the Church (and by Church, I mean mainly the evangelical church in the U.S.).

Sometimes, though, it's a pleasant surprise to run into someone I haven't seen in a while. Like yesterday, at the Common, when I ran into a guy named Dave Fleuchaus who I used to go to church with. It was a very brief encounter, but still really nice, and I got to introduce him to Ted and Cadence. It's funny how a flood of memories can rush back from when you were essentially someone else. I sure do miss a lot of the people…

#2—Whenever summer rolls around, my thoughts drift towards the Pacific Northwest, home of my favorite city to visit—Seattle, WA. Surrounded by mountains and water, built on hills, draped in breathtakingly green raiment, covered by deep azure skies, and soaked in bountiful sunshine—summers in Seattle are simply gorgeous. I know they're notorious for their drizzle, but that's really mainly during the winter months. Summers totally make up for it.

There was a time when you could fly roundtrip to Seattle from Chicago for around $180. I think I visited there 3 times in a 9-month period back in 2002/2003. Ted went last year to ~~drink beer with~~ visit his bro Charles and sis-in-law Ali while I moped at home with Cadence. Now I'm itching to go back, but we've decided that we won't take any flying trips this year, unless it's Ted's dad who's doing the flying. Now that we have to buy a ticket for Cadence too, we'd have to spend at least $700 on airfare alone to go most places far away enough to justify flying. But still…

I really have a hankering for some fresh (flying) seafood at Pike Place market.

Or a REALLY AWESOME latte on Capitol Hill.

Or a picnic in Discovery Park.

Or watching folks busking on the street corners.

Or some really greasy pizza on The Ave.

Or a late night stroll through Red Square in UW.

Or just hanging out in Charles and Ali's backyard. And I could go on and on…

#3—I think I'm a total sap sometimes. It must the be whole getting old thing again.

Labels: i.heart.seattle, memory.lane, photos, random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays

See. Miracles CAN Happen.

Published by Sarah-Ji on Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 12:35.

Well, my laptop survived Tropical Storm Cadence. So far so good. And thank goodness because I had not yet uploaded my photos from Saturday night when we got to see our friend Jozka and his beautiful girlfriend Susannah who were visiting from Ann Arbor. Joe was the happiest I've ever seen him, and that made me happy too because I've often worried over him.

Joe was roommates with Ted @ 800 South when we first started dating. He and I bonded over Douglas Coupland and songs played on guitar. He's one of those people with whom I've shared some very special memories--moments of pure joy and pure sadness. He moved to Ann Arbor that summer after the Infamous 800 South New Year's Eve Party where we first met, so we were friends in the same city for only about 8 months. We only see him sporadically now, but it always warms my heart and brings back some of the sweetest memories ever.

Labels: friends, friends.who.rock, memory.lane