Shutterbug Mama

One of the challenges as a photographer (and for any artist for that matter) is trying new things so that you don't get bored. And lately, I must admit that I HAVE been bored. So this week, like I posted over on Shutter Sisters yesterday, I decided to break a few of my own rules. Like in the photo you see above. For one thing, it's not in vibrant color. It's also got a bit of grain to it, which is something I normally try to avoid in my photos. And it's just a tad blurry. I don't have a problem w/ blur, but usually when I go for blur, I make it clear that I was going for blur so you wouldn't think it was just cuz I couldn't keep my camera still. I basically cranked up the ISO to 800 (which is high for me), shot in a moving car at night, and didn't worry about it. And you know what? There's something about that photo that I really love.

And here's another one taken about the same time through the back window of the car. Normally, I wouldn't have put the back windshield wiper in the frame, nor would I have taken a photo through such a dirty window, but I think those elements add a genuine dynamic to the photo that I really like.

In this photo, I totally chopped off the dude's head, and that wouldn't have been a normal choice for me for a shot that was framed w/ so much empty space. But it totally works for me and makes the image that much more interesting to not know what the musician's face looks like.

It was another busy weekend, and I'll leave the recap to another post, but it was really exciting for me to take photos in new ways, pushing past my comfort zone, and ending up with images that I just absolutely love, regardless of whether other people will "get it" too.


Don't forget to go see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey's Mother May I.

Labels: best.shots.monday, photography, shutter.sisters

I've got a new post up on Shutter Sisters called Break the Rules. Go check it out if you have a chance. Hopefully, I'll get my act together for tomorrow's Best Shots post.

P.S. That shot is of Cadence at Nichols Park in Hyde Park on the South Side. We were in the neighborhood Friday night for a benefit show.

Labels: photography, shutter.sisters

#1--I had a new post up on Shutter Sisters the beginning of the month. You can see all my past posts on Shutter Sisters by clicking here. I post every 1st and 3rd Sundays of the month, so I'll have another one up this Sunday.

#2--I got to see the band Frisbie at the Taste on the 4th of July while Cadence and I were on our mini-vacation. This was a big accomplishment for me as it was actually on my list of things to do that day. I almost missed them because they played 45 minutes earlier than I thought they were scheduled to. Luckily, I was foraging for food near the stage around the time they started playing, and I recognized their music right away and hurried over there. Cadence fell asleep after the first song, so I shot the entire set of photos sitting down at a table with Cadence in my left arm, and shooting w/ my zoom lens with my right.

#3--I took some really fun photos while on our mini-vacation. There was so much to see. I'll spare you the clicking to Flickr with a Pictobrowser (sorry if you can't see this in your feed):

#4--I made Cadence a new dress. It flippin' ROCKS. This was a t-shirt Ted used to wear back when we first started dating. It doesn't fit any more. Now it's a dress.

#5--Last last Saturday (the 5th), I had the honor of photographing The Maplewood Summer Olympics. Cadence was in the medal round for the Short Jump at one point. It's really harder than it sounds, even when you're half the size of everyone else. Lots of craziness ensued that night, including a bit of a SNAFU involving Cadence and vodka watermelon, but it's all good. Again, I'll resort to good old Picto to paint the picture:

#6--Cadence and I went to the Shedd Aquarium last Monday with my our friends Amy (the mom), Rudden and Jack. We had fun, but Cadence did run out the door with a stuffed penguin at one point (because I wouldn't buy it for her) and there were at least a couple major meltdowns. We survived, though. Fortunately, Amy is one of those friends who I know won't judge us in the present or hold this against us in the future.

#7--The day after Ted came home, we had a BBQ at our friend Yvonne's whose condo building has this ginormous patio overlooking their private beach. We really like Yvonne's neighbors and friends, so it was a good time. I had fun taking photos of the kids, and the lake and sky were just gorgeous.

#8--So the exhibit and Wicker Park Grace's Rent Party fundraiser were on Saturday. I got lucky that Tim V., who is active at WPG, was there on Saturday during the day when I came in to hang my photos. Tim is an artist and has a lot of gallery experience, so he basically put all my photos up for me.

I was surprised by how many people showed up, including folks who never let on that they would be there, like my friend Denise and her son Zachary. My brother brought a whole contingent from his church. All in all, the evening was a success. Lots of folks showed up to raise money for WPG, and I sold 4 frames prints from the exhibit and 2 more in the silent auction and received orders for a few more. Considering I had 15 pieces total, I'd say that was a pretty good night. Thanks to everyone who came out or who sent me notes of congrats or helped pick photos for the exhibit. I don't think my photography could have come this far without all the support I've gotten from you all.


And that will be my last Pictobrowser for this post. Those are the photos from Saturday night. Alright. I think that's quite enough for one post.

Oh, wait. One more thing. I've started a daily photoblog on my new website. This will be mainly about the photo and not so much about life in general, and most of the photos will be non-Cadence related. Some of the photos will be from the archives--stuff I never had a chance to post here but really liked and want to talk about. If you're interested in hearing me talk just about my photos, you can check it out.

Labels: friends.who.rock, photography, photos, this.busy.life

Apparently, putting together a photo exhibit in a matter of DAYS wasn't enough of a challenge for me, so I decided to create a new website as well. Here it is, folks: www.sarah-ji.com. This will be my photography site, and not so much a blog. There will be a blog that will focus on more of my artsy photos, but I probably won't be doing too much talking over there. Oh, and the reason I HAD to design a new website? Because I decided to print up interim business cards to have available on Saturday at the opening/fundraiser. Ted just approved the proofs at Kinko's, so I should have them by tomorrow.

So do you all remember this photo I took a couple weeks ago, the day before Ted left on tour? I happened to enter it into a photo contest on photographer MeRa Koh's blog, and I got chosen as one of the finalists! You can vote on the best photo on MeRa's blog here. And for the record, I'm not soliciting votes for myself. I was more excited about the nice things MeRa had to say about the photo as well as her kind mention of Shutter Sisters. I will totally respect you if you don't vote for me, and in fact I will be happy that you feel secure enough in our relationship to vote for what you REALLY think is the best photo.

Anyhoo, I found out that this photo was also printed in last week's print edition of the Chicago Reader. They told me they were going to print it, but I didn't know it would be so soon, so I didn't pick up a copy. If anyone has an extra one lying around, let me know! It was the daily photo on their web version on Friday June 27th.

Also, this photo was featured on Gapers Block's Rearview last Thursday, and it was the Daily Photo on Chicago Public Radio's website on July 1st. So it's made the rounds of the Chicago media sources I like to frequent, which is cool.

There been so much going on, and I always feel bad when I fall so behind on updating around here, but that's the way it goes for now. Hope you all have a lovely weekend!

Labels: news, photography

I've been so busy that I forgot to tell you all that I've got my first photo exhibit opening this Saturday. It's not a formal gallery show, but it's in the space for Wicker Park Grace which is a cool lofty building in the Wicker Park/Bucktown area. They're doing a fundraiser Rent Party with live music, food and drinks for $15 this Saturday in their space at the Acme Building at 1741 N. Western at 8pm. My photos are going to liven up the space for the event and stay up for another month or so. Two of them will be sold in the silent auction, and the rest (another dozen maybe) will be up for sale with 50% of sales going to benefit Wicker Park Grace.

You can read more about it here.

Also, if you'd like to give input on which photos should be included in the exhibit or auction, please go to my Flickr account and leave your comments. If you don't have a Flickr account, you can always email me at shutterbugmama[dot]com[at]gmail[dot]com. I've narrowed down the selection to a couple dozen (thanks to those of you who've already commented, by the way).

Like I said, it's been really busy around here, but the most important part is that Ted's back home. Yay!

And here he is looking more like a trucker than ever. And proud of it, too.

Labels: photography, wicker.park.grace

Some of you may remember an interesting photoshoot I did in April of my friend Jessica Hannah's graduate thesis performance/installation for Columbia College. Well, Jessica and her fellow robotic housewives will be performing once again this Friday, June 13th (an auspicious date, eh?) to open Ladylike: A Proper Take on Feminist Art group exhibit at Koscielak Gallery in Wicker Park.

I'm especially excited as Jessica has informed me that the curator will make prints of my photos available for purchase if anyone is interested. I don't know who would want to buy photos of robotic companions, but it's just exciting to think that someone POSSIBLY might. Plus, the gallery is using a couple of my photos to promote the show, one on their website and one on the invite for the opening reception:

Two of the artists also exhibiting are Korean-American women, so I want to check that out too. If you have the chance to see this on Friday night, I highly recommend it. The performance piece of Jessica's installation will only be for this Friday night. There's some video and other visual stuff that will be part of the exhibit through July 3oth.

So here's the info:

LADYLIKE: A proper take on feminist art
Krista Babbitt (Chicago), Andrea Dezso (New York), Jessica Hannah (Chicago), Sally Ko (Chicago), Ke-Sook Lee (Kansas City),Emma McCagg (New York), Lorraine Peltz (Chicago), Abigail Pope (New York), Susan Sensemann (Chicago),Stacia Yeapanis (Chicago).

The exhibition LADYLIKE is curated by Joanne Hinkel.
Opening reception
Friday, June 13, 2008
6 - 9 pm
Koscielak Gallery
1646 N. Bosworth Ave
Exhibition runs through July 31st.

Labels: art, friends, photography

Ok, I'm feeling a bit more up to posting photos from the weekend after taking a half-day vacation yesterday. Just a few of my favorites. You can see ALL my favorites in the pictobrowser in yesterday's post. As you can see from this shot above, we were kinda high up above the beach. So the wedding ended up being on the lawn overlooking the beach, and not actually on the beach, because somebody probably would've hurt themselves trying to walk down to the beach (most likely me).

I took this one of the groom Dave and two of his siblings through the screen door. I like the soft glow the screen door filter created, kind of like the time I took a photo of Cadence through a pair of pink tights.

I thought this was a cute one of my friend Alana the bride peeking out while waiting to walk down the "aisle." I loved all the songs that were played as part of the prelude, including Big Star's "I'm In Love With a Girl", which kind of threw me for a loop as this is the first song on Cadence's Sleepy Songs CD which we play for every nap and at bedtime. I almost started looking for Cadence so I could put her to bed. They also played Wedding Day, which our friend Ian Moore often sings (it's an Alejandro Escovedo song) and which I also played as part of the prelude for my wedding. The wedding party walked down to "New Day," one of my favorite Ian Moore songs (Ian is how Alana and I know each other).

And this is the maid of honor, Alana's oldest daughter Autumn. This is probably my favorite people shot from the evening. She just looks so elegant and beautiful.

I thought it was funny that there was no champagne at the wedding, but there WAS Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers. Heehee. I love how casual and laid back the whole wedding was, and this photo captures it pretty well.

This photo makes me so happy. Click on the photo to see a larger version, and you'll see that the dad's umbrella matches the daughter's outfit and vice versa. It was during the dancing portion of the reception. Yeah, it rained.

It rained ALOT. But that didn't stop the bride from dancing with her guests, even if an umbrella was required.

And here are the newlyweds smooching it up again. She actually pulled him in by his necktie to get this kiss.

Here's a non-wedding photo from the weekend. I wish I could say I actually took the time to look around, but I was anxious to get home, so I only made one little stop by a field of dandelions for a couple shots.

So that's it in a nutshell. The entire wedding photo set (of all 302 photos) is on my other Flickr if anyone's interested.

Thanks for all your well-wishes and votes of confidence. It was a really good learning experience for me.

Labels: friends.who.rock, photography, wedding.photography, weddings

I have the distinct honor and pleasure of photographing my friend Alana's wedding tomorrow. She is a talented designer, photographer, musician, and hot rock 'n' roll mama. I'm so happy for her and her almost-hubby-Dave. It's going to be a beach sunset wedding in Michigan, so no stuffy boring wedding here.

So why the need for a confession? Well, two things. First of all, this will be my first wedding as THE photographer. That scares the bejeebus out of me. I've had butterflies in my stomach for over a week now. I know I should just get over myself, but I still get that, "What if I totally f*ck up?" knot in my brain every time I do a semi-important photoshoot. Wanna know why I'm not shooting photos for a living? This is why. The stress would kill me, I think. And still, I know I'm just second guessing. So like I said, I should just get over myself.

Second, Ted couldn't get off of work for the wedding. Since bringing Cadence to the wedding without someone to watch her would spell potentially disastrous results for my shutterbug duties, I reluctantly decided to leave her at home. What's the big deal? Well, this is an overnight trip, and I've never spent a night away from Cadence since she emerged from my womb. Ok, there was that one Wilco/Detholz! concert in Urbana that I photographed when she was five months old and I didn't get home until the middle of the night, but I was only gone a total of 12 hours then. I skipped Wilco's encore AND pumped breastmilk in the car while Ted drove to keep our time away to a minimum.

I know a bunch of you are laughing at me that I'm actually not jumping up and down with glee that I get a night all to myself in a waterfront hotel in lovely Saugatuck, MI. I know I'm being silly, but I can't help it. I know Cadence will be just fine. I should just embrace this opportunity to be alone to do whatever the heck I want (within reason, of course). Still...I'm gonna feel mighty out of place without my family in tow.

Oh, and this is totally off topic, but some old high school friends and I got together last week while our friend Steve Elliott was in town. Steve has been making quite a name for himself as an author, and was even awarded the Stegner Fellowship @ Stanford University a few years ago, which is a far cry from his teenage days as a ward of the state or homeless in Rogers Park. Anyhoo, it was fun to hang out and catch up.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Labels: cadence, photography, prayer.for.the.paranoid, random.thoughts, wedding.photography, weddings

So I never went to my senior prom 18 years ago. I was too busy that night loving Jesus in Wisconsin (read: church retreat). I've never really regretted not going, but now that I'm a grown-up and don't care so much about appearances or being in the cool crowd, I've thought for some time that it would be fun to go to an adult prom. My friends at the Maplewood entity threw one last spring, and the photos were a hoot. I didn't go, of course, because I'm generally lame like that. This past Saturday, though, I got to go to prom. It was for 826CHI's fundraiser, and I went as a photographer. Although I was there dressed in mere jeans and a t-shirt (albeit a cool restructured Green Lantern t-shirt), it was still fun to be in the midst of the wild rumpus. I don't have too much time to post, so I'll just share some of my faves from that night.

There is something I just love about this one. Perhaps it's the ridiculous juxtaposition of this lovely, peaceful-looking blonde next to the girl in the gaudy green.

Oh, the things some guys will do to impress the ladies. I like the somewhat amused look on the girl's face.

I was tickled by the sight of this pile of shoes and accoutrement on the floor that just kept getting bigger and bigger as the night progressed. As crazy as things got, people were pretty good about dancing AROUND the pile and not falling over it.

Did I mention there was an 80's cover band? Called The Power of Love? They were a lot of fun, as you can probably tell from their outfits.

I didn't check the bathroom stalls or stairwells, but I'm sure there was some making out going on. I snuck a shot of this couple through a screendoor.


In the interest of time and space, I'll just post a pictobrowser of my Flickr set of faves from the night. If you want to see all 220 photos from that night, you can check out my other Flickr site.

You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Labels: 826CHI, best.shots.monday, photography

This spring, I am attempting to get more experience in shooting photos of folks who are taller than 3-and-a-half feet. A few of my friends have volunteered for this experiment, and I had my first shoot with one of them Sunday afternoon. It was with Ben Miranda, my friend from the Detholz!.

We shot for a couple hours in the Lincoln Square area, mainly on the grounds of Waters Academy, which has a community garden. We did some typical portrait shots, like the one above, but I wanted to do something a little more interesting.

Luckily, Ben was happy to oblige with some interesting props and poses. This is one of my favorites.

I was especially happy with the shots taken in front of the very colorful fieldhouse next to the garden in the school.

All in all, it was a great learning experience for me, and I look forward to doing some more shoots in the coming weeks. Ben was such a good sport about it all, and it was a lot of fun. You can see some of my other favorite shots in the slideshow below. To see all the shots from the session, you can visit my more "serious" Flickr account.

Labels: detholz, friends, friends.who.rock, photography

Folks, I took hundreds of photos this weekend at two photoshoots, and I am mentally and physically exhausted (but in a good, satisfying way). A few of my favorite shots, however, are more snap-shotty candids of other people's kids. Like Caely here with her totally kick-ass skull tattoo. I like me a good color combo, and that fuschia and green is one of my favorites.

And then there's this cute shot of Rudden, Caely and Cadence. They were nice enough to pause their flurry of fun to pose for one group shot. Otherwise, I'd have a bunch of blurs. Not that I have anything against blurs, but it's nice to get a shot in which you can actually make out faces once in a while.

And then there's this shot of my cousin's baby Eden, who is now a toddler already (!!!) and who is extremely photogenic. It's already hard to remember when Cadence was this little.


Which brings us to the Robotic Housewives portion of this post. I had the pleasure of doing a photoshoot for my friend Jessica Hannah's performance installation titled Showroom No. 6. The slideshow above is of some of my favorite shots from the shoot. You can see the entire set on my other Flickr account. This was Jessica's graduate thesis for Columbia College's Interdisciplinary Art and Media department. Here's a description from her website:

"Her thesis work explores identity struggles, her subject being robotic housewives. Showroom No.6 is an installation/durational performance involving six live women displayed in the 1950s-era showroom of Renaldi Industries, a fictional manufacturer of robotic companions. Six phones allow audience members to hear the inner monologue of each female robot; lifting the phone receiver actives each robot to life. A video catalog details other companionship options provided by the company."

I also did a photoshoot Sunday afternoon of my friend Ben (of Detholz! notoriety), but I haven't had a chance to go through all of those yet.

I've gotten some of my friends to volunteer as guinea pigs for photoshoots (Ben was the first) because I'm trying to get more experience shooting grownups. With just these two photoshoots, I've already learned a lot, and I'm excited to be pushing my limits as a photographer!


You can see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Labels: best.shots.monday, friends, photography

Hi, folks. I've got a post up on Shutter Sisters today. Check it out:

Small Is Beautiful

Labels: photography, shutter.sisters

Hi, y'all. I'm posting the 3rd Sunday of the month in addition to the 1st Sunday over on Shutter Sisters. My latest post called Just Shoot It is up now.

Labels: photography, shutter.sisters

I know I've complained and complained about the brutal winter we've had in Chicago before, so for once I am happy to report that the temperatures actually SOARED into the 50's yesterday. And thank goodness, as I've been itching to hit the streets for a photoshoot.

The winter's been extra hard on me, as it's left me uninspired to take photos of anything or anyone. Except for the occasional shots of Cadence and friends, it's been a dry spell for me shutterbug-wise. And I've especially missed one of my favorite activities--street photography.

Thanks to the time change this week, I had about an hour-and-a-half of natural light left after I got home from work last night, and I immediately rushed out with my camera. I kept things simple with just my 30mm lens since I HATE changing lenses. I didn't know where I was going to go shoot when I got in my car. I wanted to visit my favorite haunts in Wicker Park, but traffic on Clark Street was a bear, and the light wasn't getting any brighter, so I headed on over to New Chinatown in Uptown, by Argyle and Broadway.

If you live on the Northside of Chicago and get a hankering for pho or dim sum or a Chinese bakery, this is the place to go. The neighborhood is also called Little Vietnam or Little Cambodia, as many of the shops and restaurants and residents have connections to Southeast Asia, as opposed to mainland China.

While I was shooting some photos, I happened to hear someone calling my name. It was one of my best friends, John, who was riding his bike down Argyle on his way to a bar called Big Chicks on Sheridan. Funny thing was, I had left a message on John's answering machine that morning telling him I'd be doing a photoshoot that evening. I didn't say where, and he never even got the message as he hadn't been home all day, so it was quite a pleasant surprise to run into him.

I feel a bit rusty when it comes to shooting, so I'm going to have to do a bunch more of these photoshoots. Back when I was a single gal living alone on the Wicker Park/Bucktown border, I did a photoshoot wherever I went. I think that was a little extreme, and now (especially with a kid) I recognize the need to put away the camera sometimes and just let things BE. But still, I can't help feeling a bit nostalgic about those days...

I'll post some other photos from last night in a slideshow below so you don't have to keep scrolling forever. Just click on the photo to go to the next one, or click on a thumbnail to see that photo.

Labels: i.heart.chicago, memory.lane, photography, photos

So my friend Tim Lowly, husband of our church's wonderful pastor Sherrie Lowly and instigator for the Tim Lowly Ensemble which Ted drums for, also happens to be a talented and well-respected painter. He is a teacher/artist-in-residence at North Park University, where he also directs the gallery. I have been a fan of Tim's paintings for as long as I've known him. His images often resonate with the deepest places of my heart, and someday I'm going to scrape together enough money to buy me one of his works.

Lately, however, he's been making more and more art in Photoshop with photos he's taken. The stuff is pretty amazing. He posted the "photo" above of Cadence on his Flickr stream, and I absolutely love it. I'm not a big fan of drastic Photoshop alterations (I can't even get simple textures down), but the stuff that Tim does just makes my jaw drop. I highly recommend mosing on over there and having a looksy. He also posts his paintings and drawings, which are also amazing.

Labels: art, flickritis, friends, photography, tim.lowly

A week ago, I wrote a post on Shutter Sisters about How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love The Blur. My best shot for this week fits quite nicely with that post. I snapped this photo while chasing Cadence down our hallway. There's something about this photo that I just love (and I don't say that about too many of my photos). Sometimes, the most perfect way to capture my little whirlwind-of-a-child is like this--a total blur.

In other news, it was Ted's 31st birthday on Saturday (which coincidentally was the 6th anniversary of this here blog). We celebrated w/ a few friends and family members at an Ethiopian place called Ethiopian Diamond. It's been a long time since I've had Ethiopian, and I forgot just how delicious it is. Chicago, esp. the North side has a large Ethiopian population, so there are a number of restaurants to choose from. I think we picked a pretty good one and hope to go back.

After dinner, we headed back to our place for more libations, including shots of a really really good bottle of scotch that I bought Ted for Valentine's Day. As you can see from this photo of Erik, the scotch had its intended effect.

So is anybody else's kid suffering from sleep deficit due to the time change? I have to say, that's the last time we have a late-night gathering on the eve of a spring-forward time change. We had to be up for church the next morning, and Cadence ended up getting only 8 hours of sleep Saturday night. Ouch.


Go see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Labels: best.shots.monday, birthday, cadence, friends, photography, teddy

Hi, folks. I've got a post up on Shutter Sisters today. Check it out:

How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Blur

Labels: photography, shutter.sisters

I recently purchased the SB-600 speedlight for a little more versatility in flash photography. One of my favorite features so far is the ability to bounch the light on the wall BEHIND me. I usually hate the way flash is reflected in the eyes of the subject as little white dots, but I think bouncing the flash backwards makes the catchlight in Cadence's eyes almost natural.

Still, nothing beats natural light in my book.


Go see more folk's Best Shot's on Tracey' Mother May I.

Labels: best.shots.monday, cadence, photography

Ah, yes...The bride and groom. They both look lovely, eh? Vikki is Ted's cousin, and we happen to be pretty fond of her so we were thrilled that she found a great guy like Mike. He's got quite the romantic streak that is already becoming legendary in this family.

I took a ton of photos, which can be seen in my Wedding Flickr account if y'all are into wedding photos. As you can see, Cadence had a blast. She tore up that dance floor like you would not believe. For Three. Straight. Hours.


I did post some of my favorite photos from the wedding on my personal Flickr. This is a slideshow so I don't have to post a 2-mile long post to share these with you.

I'm currently at the Metra station. My shuttle bus missed the train, so I thought I'd do a little post (thank you, LF Public Library). It's been nonstop party in our household since Friday night, and it ain't over yet. Ted's sister Lauren has been staying with us since Saturday night, and the Sibs are going out again tonight. There is a snowstorm headed our way I hear. Thank goodness I'm back to my old schedule of working from home on Wednesdays...

That's the short and sweet scoop around here. Keep warm and safe, y'all.

Labels: family, photography, wedding.photography, weddings

Hey, y'all! My first post on Shutter Sisters is up! I'll be posting the first Sunday of every month, so check it out!

In other news, it's been super busy around here (when is it not??). Ted's cousin Vikki got married yesterday, and she and her now-husband Mike had asked me to be the 2nd photographer. That means I'll be post-processing like mad tomorrow. Plus our upstairs neighbor accidentally left her water running in her kitchen and fell asleep Tuesday night, and now we've got some nasty water damage. We've been running a dehumidifier 24 hours/day since Friday afternoon, and I think the dryness in our place has contributed to Cadence now getting sick. Grrrr...Anyhoo, more later.

Labels: photography, shutter.sisters

I recently saw this on my beloved inspiration Jen Lemen's Flickr stream, and it hit me like a timely prophetic word. Dismantle Fear. DISMANTLE. FEAR. Yes, THAT is what I need to do. Take apart my fears one by one, render them powerless in my life. And maybe in doing so gain some hiddens morsels of insight as to who I am and where these fears have grown from and how to transplant courage and hope and trust and joy into those places where fear once had its roots.

Obviously, this will be no overnight task. You see, I am a woman of many fears. Spending your most formative years in a fundamentalist cult, being hurt in ways no child should ever be hurt, failing at relationships that you thought would last forever, watching your dad waste away before your very eyes. These are things that tend to plant seeds of fear in a person, seeds that eventually grow into stubborn weeds.

Well, I've started my personal process of Dismantling Fear, and I've decided to begin with the Fear of Not Being Worthy Of the Company I Keep. The lovely and talented Tracey of Mother May I presented me with the perfect opportunity to do this by inviting me to contribute to a new online community blog of women photographers called Shutter Sisters. When I looked at the list of amazing women who had already joined forces with Tracey, my first reaction was, "There's no way I'm good enough to be one of them. I'm just a cheesy mommyblogger!" I began my email to decline Tracey's offer. But then I realized that I have avoided being a part of anything that would potentially push my limits a bit and maybe, just maybe, make me GROW a little. I've always been so afraid of not being good enough. And yet, I knew from reading the blogs of these women that while they are intimidatingly talented, they are also kind and supportive and encouraging. So I said Yes to Tracey! And now I'm a Shutter Sister!

I am giddy with the prospects of collaborating with these women and other Shutter Sisters from all over the world, cyber and real. Please check us out! Better yet, join us!

Labels: about.me, bloggers, friends.who.rock, photography, random.thoughts, shutter.sisters

...and it's mighty fine! That's right. I broke down and got me the Sigma 30mm f/1.4. Some of you may know that the lens I shoot with 95% of the time is my Nikkor 50mm f/1.8, and I truly, truly love that lens. For a hundred bucks, you're not going to get a better lens. The only downside is that because it's 50mm (which on my digital SLR equates to 75mm on a 35mm SLR), I'm always having to back way, way up to get the shot I want. That means arms-length self-portraits (like the one above) are out of the question.

With the 30mm, however, I can now get shots so much closer to the subject, like this one of Cadence who's doing her little "Mama, I'm tired" thing while holding onto my shirt. This is another shot I never could've taken w/ my 50mm.

Plus, I've been wanting to get more nursing photos before Cadence weans, and now I can take that myself no problemo.

I can't wait to try out this lens at a show. Now I'll be able to get the whole band in one shot without too much difficulty.

Labels: i.heart.aperture.priority, photo.gear, photography

My bro-in-law Dave left a comment on this photo on Flickr wanting to know who authorized a haircut for Cadence, "especially in such a style." Ha ha! Truth is, it's a fake haircut. Her hair got stuck inside her turtleneck when I was getting her dressed, and I noticed it looked like she got a haircut, so I snapped a few shots. As IF. It's taken me FOREVER (okay, 3 years, not really forever) to get her hair long enough for pigtails and barrettes, so there's no way I'm letting a pair of scissors come near her head.

Yesterday was a truly blustery day. I had a migraine almost the whole day. Luckily, it was my day to telecommute, but still. Working with a migraine, even from the comfort of my sofa, kinda sucks bigtime. I was feeling well enough by around 5pm, so I took Cadence outside to play. Holy schmoles! I was NOT expecting it to be THAT cold. The sad thing is, it probably wasn't all that cold. Maybe in the high 40's with the wind chill, but compared to what we normally get in winter round these parts, not that cold in the grand scheme of things. I'm just not ready to let go of summer just yet...

So, I realize I take a lot of photos of Cadence (that would be the understatement of the year). And yet, I have to admit that sometimes I get these shots that just take my breath away. Like this one above here.

Or this one. She can be so cheesy sometimes, but it's really her serious, deep looks that pierce me in that maternal place in my heart.

So while we're on the topic of photos, it looks like a few of you have discovered that I'm working on a new photo gallery. I didn't mean it to get out there in public, as I'm still futzing around with it, but I've discovered a great little tool called Pictobrowser that lets you create a snazzy looking slideshow gallery of your Flickr photos based on a specific tag, group or set. I'm still playing around with it, but if you like, you can go take a looksy at my new photo gallery page over here.

Or just look at the example below:


What I like about Pictobrowser is its sleek design and no nonsense font and the fact that you can see the title of the photo if you hover over a thumbnail with your mouse, as well as give you a link to the actual Flickr page where the photo resides. The downside is that I can't figure out how to get more than 21 pages of photos to show up. Of course, it's kinda crazy to have 21 pages of photos of any category, but I take a lot of photos, ya know. Oh well. I guess I have to be more critical of the photos I put in these here galleries. Currently, I just have the one of some of my favorite photos taken after I switched to dSLR. I'm working on one for all of Cadence. And the one posted in this blog is of my nature shots. I'll probably do one of Chicago, or street photography, or something. I dunno...The possibilities are endless with Pictobrowser.

Tags: Pictobrowser, Photography

Labels: blogging.schmlogging, cadence, photography, photos

I recently got myself Marina's Underground Set List for Adobe Lightroom. These are basically different settings (presets) that can be applied to my RAW (uncompressed)images in Lightroom to achieve specific looks. They are a lot of fun to play with. You can apply the setting and then adjust the exposure, color, etc to make the photo look the way you want it to. The setting I used for this one is called Mello MaiTai3.

It kind of gives the photos an aged, yet dreamy feel to 'em, which I really like. For those of you who have cameras that can shoot in RAW format, I highly recommend it. You have much more options when you edit photos for correcting exposure and color and whatnot. I've been shooting exclusively in RAW since Lauren's wedding.

Something else that I continue to play with is getting a different angle or perspective on my photos by "shooting from the hip." Basically, that means shooting without looking through the viewfinder. I often put the camera all the way to the ground to get a bug's eye view, so to speak. My aim kinda sucks, so I never know what I'm gonna get.

Like this shot here...That's not what I was going for at all. I meant to get Cadence in the shot, but of course I was too close and my aim too poor. Still, I really like the result, which I think is more interesting than what I would've gotten had I actually gotten all of Cadence in the shot.

Go see more folks' Best Shots for the week on Tracey's Picture This!

Labels: best.shots.monday, photography, photos

For the Buddhist monks and the people of Burma and Aung San Suu Kyi standing defiantly--and yet peacefully--in the face of tyranny.

For the girls and women of Sudan who fear being beaten or raped every time they fetch water.

For the women in the U.S. Armed Forces, who are regularly subjected to sexual assault while those in command look the other way.

For those who have been imprisoned by the U.S. government and TORTURED (just f*cking admit it, GW, it's TORTURE) so that we in the U.S. could be free to plunder the earth and revel in our gluttony.

For the familes who have been separated by the 38th parallel in North and South Koreas, and who may finally be reunited someday soon.

For those who are denied basic civil rights because of whom they love.

For those who have hidden behind false identies and lived in the shadows and in self-hatred all their lives out of fear of rejection and persecution.

For those who live in countries where it is a crime punishable by death to be who they are openly, and for those who live in countries where they are supposedly free to be who they are, and yet who are still punished by death.

For Buddha.

For Jesus.

For Gandhi.

For Dr. King, Jr.

For Matthew Shepard.

For all of you, for Cadence, and for me too.

Labels: current.events, photography, prayer.for.the.paranoid

...and it's coming from this blog. Yes, lame-age abounds around here these days, I totally admit it. It's been a rough week, people.

So Monday through Wednesday, I had this meeting in downtown Chicago with other folks within the compensation world in my industry. My boss asked me to make a presentation about our company and our compensation practices. I was totally stressed out because 1) if given the choice between a root canal WITHOUT anesthesia and speaking formally in front of total strangers, I would gladly pick the root canal and thank the Lord for my good fortune; 2) I knew I'd be the LEAST experienced person professionally in the room; and 3) I just don't know my sh*t as well as I should.

To make matters worse, Cadence kept me up most of Monday night, so I went into this meeting on Tuesday with only a couple hours of sleep. Plus, I was starting to feel a cold coming on. Last, but not least, I was scheduled to give my presentation at 4:30pm, right before everyone would be heading to their hotel for the cocktail reception at 5pm.

I can't tell you how the presentation went as I've permanently repressed the memory, cuz everybody knows that anything more painful than a root canal without anesthesia (except for childbirth) should qualify for automatic repression within the memory banks. All I know is my boss didn't fire me on the spot, so it must have been okay. And no, I'm pretty sure I wasn't great.

Anyhoo, if that whole debacle weren't bad enough, I developed a migraine Tuesday night (from lack of sleep Monday night) and had to sit through Wednesday's meeting with a bruised head. Thank goodness it was a half-day meeting. I'd had plans of going on a photoshoot as long as I was downtown, but instead I went straight home and threw up. I missed our friend Erik's birthday dinner, and my head kept on hurting right into Thursday. Plus, I developed a full-blown cold by Thursday morning and couldn't stop sneezing, which made my headache worse. I stayed home from work, but I barely felt well enough to attend the Tim Lowly art reception/music show that evening.

Nevertheless, I really wanted to see Tim's art as he is one of my favorite artists, so I dragged my sickly self (actually, I should say WE dragged OUR sickly selves, as Ted is sick too) out of the house to see the show. I'm glad I did, because I hadn't seen most of the stuff he was showing, and it's pretty flippin' rad. That's Tim in the photo above, wearing the Tim Lowly ensemble t-shirt that the lovely and talented Katie Schofield embroidered. And that's my good friend Amy taking some Super8 footage.

I also took some of my favorite photos in a while, so click on the photo above for the whole slideshow. You can also see some of Tim's artwork, as well as photos of the music show that followed the reception.

This is actually my favorite photo from the night. It's just kinda wacky, ya know? Tim says it looks like a scene from a play, and I would have to agree. Katie C.(the violinist) looks like she's about to say something really poignant. And Matt looks like he's just gonna ignore her. And then there's that bottle of wine off to the side...

Tim's really nice to let me bring Cadence to all the shows. She was running and dancing and hopping around a lot, and at one point found her way onto stage. She told me she needed to talke to dada. No, really. That's what she said: "I need to talk to Dada." And she was totally serious.

Speaking of the munchkin, she's turning 3 on Monday. Another reason we're kinda stressed in this household. We're not having a party or anything--just cake w/ immediate family, no kids or anything. I'm glad we planned it that way, cuz I don't think I would've wanted to host a party w/ other folks' children in the condition I'm in right now--all snotty and achey and whatnot.

So that's the scoop, y'all. I'm sorry I've been bad about responding to comments or catching up on your blogs. I hope things mellow out in October...

Labels: blogging.schmlogging, cadence, fess.up.time, photography, photos, this.busy.life, tim.lowly.ensemble

Ok, now where were we...Ah, yes. On to the reception!

Here are the newlyweds entering the reception hall to much applause.

And straight into their first dance as husband and wife.

Next was the bride's dance with her father.

And if you look closely, you will see Lauren's pink Converse All-star sneakers peeking out from under her dress. I just couldn't resist taking this shot...

The part that may have produced the most tears from the guests was the dance with all four of Lauren's brothers. Here she is with the oldest, Dave.

And with Jason, the youngest and her twin.

With Charles, the 2nd oldest brother.

And finally, with Ted, the middle brother.

Here's Cadence watching her daddy twirl her Aunt Lauren around the dance floor. She looked so thoughtful throughout the dance. I don't know what was going through her head. Maybe she thought her dad was a good dancer.

Here she is trying out Daddy as a dance partner. I am not even going to think of her dancing with her Daddy at her own wedding someday.

I have to admit, though, that Cadence didn't spend much time dancing cuz she was too busy running. No surprise there.

Can you hear the glasses clinking?

Oh, look. Another one! And a dramatic dip! Glad I had my camera ready!

This is one of my favorite dancing photos. That's Ted's mom and a very good family friend, Mr. Motyl.

I had a lot of fun photographing our friends Jeff and Lena. They are such a beautiful couple and a lot of fun on the dance floor. I have some goofy photos of them, but I really like this sweet one.

And this is probably in my top 10 favorites of the day. I think I need to do a little more editing, and it may look best in sepia or black and white. We'll see.

I think the dancing photos were the most fun to take. People were having so much fun! There was dancing pretty much non-stop for the reception. Even Grandma Sophie danced the afternoon away. She met a very nice Italian gentleman from Florida who whisked her around the dance floor. He later told me what a great dancer she was and how astounded he was by her agility and lightness of feet.

Anyhoo, I could go on and on with dancing photos, but I'll stop for now. The band definitely deserved a big round of applause.

There was an after-party at the parents' house post-reception, which all the wedding guests were invited to. Ted's mom is a fabulous hostess, and everything looked awesome with just one hired helper.

Some folks on Doug's (the groom's) side of the family gave speeches. I have to say, it amazes me how people from other countries (in this case, Sweden) are so good at speaking English. I mean, could you imagine going to Sweden and delivering a speech in front of 100 guests in Swedish? No, I didn't think so.

I think a lot more drinking went on at the after-party due to the presence of some really awesome homebrew made especially for the wedding by Ted and Dave and Ted's best friend Brian.

There was also no band to keep people on the dancefloor. Unless you were Dave and you dance to the beat of a different realm of reality.

By the end of the night, some of us were in dire need of some shut-eye. All in all, though, it was a fun day. I gotta say, Ted's family sure knows how to party, and I mean that in a very positive way.

So that's it for the photos. Again, you can see all 422 over here if you're so inclined. Hope you have broadband.

Labels: auntie.lore, family, photography, photos, wedding.photography, weddings

That's right, folks. I survived the wedding extravaganza week, and I'm almost back to my everyday life, which would include this blog, of course. I've been editing photos during every moment of my free time since the wedding on Saturday, and I finally have something to show you all. I took over 1,000 photos, and of these I kept a little over 400 from the wedding day itself. I've posted all these to a different flickr account, so if you want to have a look-see at ALL of them, you can mosey on over here. Otherwise, I'll share some of the more memorable photos in this blog post. Excuse the lack of words. I'm tired.

And here is the bride's bouquet. The colors of the wedding were red and orange (for Rouge Douge and Orange Loren).

I didn't really take photos during the ceremony, so here they are moments after being married. The ceremony wasn't the kind that would've allowed me to move around much to take photos. The professional photographer basically planted his tripod and stayed put for most of the ceremony. I figured if he wasn't moving around, I wasn't going to either because I felt self-conscious of my very small lens.

I didn't partake in the family photos, either. I kind of hung around, but I know it's distracting to have two photographers taking photos for posed shots so I didn't take very many photos, except of folks just standing around, like Uncle Charles here. I was kind of disappointed that the photographer didn't do very many family shots. Maybe it's cuz I'm Asian, but I was hoping for a really big family photo. I think I was in only one of the posed photos (the sisters-in-law), and Cadence wasn't in any. But after visiting the photographer's website, I'm glad because the photos I saw on there were kinda scary. We may need to be photoshopping the professional shots...

This is one of the few photos of Cadence I took the entire day, not to mention the entire week. She was half-asleep already.

And here are the newlyweds going off to the reception in their limo. I have no idea how Ted's dad scored a stretch limo 2 days before the wedding.

This one may be my favorite photo of the day. Grandma Sophie had a blast blowing bubbles. She is a total HOOT to photograph.

Alright. I'll end it there for now. More later!

Labels: auntie.lore, family, photography, photos, wedding.photography, weddings

I'm practicing my photog skillz for Auntie Lauren's wedding, which is coming up really fast now! Here are a few of my faves from this past week:

Cadence's little friend Ada at her Dr. Seuss-themed 3rd Birthday Party. Notice her little tattoo on her arm. So cute!

Adorable little Nora at the birthday party. I like how Ada and Cadence are off in the distance, and here's little Nora chasing after them.

Here, I'm playing around on Picasa, which is a google software for organizing and editing photos. I've muted the colors every so slightly.

This one is kinda dreamy. I don't think I'd want to do too many photos like this as that would probably make me want to vomit. But a few here and there I think would be okay. I'm really not so much into the effects. I like when other people do 'em, but I like to keep things simple. Probably cuz I'm lazy.

I just like the light in this one. And I am a big fan of window seats! I always think of Jane Eyre as a little girl hiding away in one of these and reading for hours and hours during the cold winter months.

This happened to be in Ted's parent's fridge. It's almost 2 years old! There will definitely be a bunch of homebrew at the wedding after-party.

There's something about this photo that I really like. Part of it is because I think Becki is just absolutely beautiful, in a really pure, natural and wholesome way. The awesome part is that she's really this beautiful on the inside too. I know that sounds hokey, but it's true. Uncle David is so lucky that she chose him!

As you can see, Cadence is quite fond of her Aunt Becki, whom she called Aunt Duckie for the longest time. *sigh*. I kinda liked it when she called her Duckie...

Oh, all of these photos were taken w/ the 50mm f/1.8 lens on my D50. I'm thinking I'll shoot mainly w/ that lens cuz I just love the blur. So I guess it won't matter so much that my 18-55mm is broken. I have an older 35-55mm from my film camera that I can use on my D50, so I'll do that. I'll use my D40 for my 55-200mm zoom lens, mainly at the ceremony. I'm going to focus more on the reception and after-party and leave the main ceremony shooting to the pros. There is no way I'll get much more than maybe some artsy looking grainy B&W shots at the ceremony, since the church does not allow flash or planted lighting. We'll see how it goes...

Go see other folks' Best Shots Monday at Tracey's Picture This.

Labels: auntie.lore, best.shots.monday, cadence, family, photography, photos, weddings

So my D50 body that I bought just for my 50mm f/1.8 lens? I think I'm finally getting used to it. It's still clunky compared to my D40. I've only taken probably less than 700 photos on it, compared to almost 9,000 on my D40, so maybe it's just a matter of practice before I'm feeling more at home with it.

I did get to do a little photoshoot with the D50 on Wednesday of my cousins Ben and Rachel's baby daughter Eden, who is now 4 months old. We went over to their place for a 4th of July BBQ. Cadence loves going to see Baby Eden. She still gets jealous when one of us holds her, but not as much as she used to. She even told Ted, as we were getting out of the car, that he could hold Baby Eden.

The more time I spend with Eden, the more I miss that itty bitty baby stage. And Eden isn't so itty bitty any more already! Ted and I were looking through some old photos last night of Cadence at around 4 months old. It's been so long since we could actually say she was chubby that I was surprised to see her chunkiness.

I know y'all are thinking we're totally gonna have another one with all this baby talk, but that's not true. Yes, Ted and I joke about it casually, with just a little hint of yearning in our voices. Would we be happy if we happened to get pregnant right now? I think so. Are we going out of our way to get pregnant? Uh, no.

Fact is, I don't know if I'll even be able to get pregnant again. My doctor had told me in my 20s that I would need fertility treatment to get pregnant. Apparently, Ted was fertility treatment enough. But now, I don't know…I've only had a few periods since Cadence was born. Yes, I'm still nursing, but only a couple times a day, and I don't think that would be enough to keep most women from ovulating again.

It may just be that Cadence is my one miracle baby and that I'll never get another chance to give birth again. I have mixed feelings about this, but you know, as much as I bitch and moan about what a handful Cadence is, she really is a totally kickass kid, and I can't believe how incredibly blessed I am to have the privilege of being her mama. So if it turns out that she is my only child, she's the best only I could have ever asked for, and I'm thankful for that.

Labels: baby.fever, cadence, family, i.heart.nikon, photography, photos

The more I think about it, the more relieved I am that Ted's mom hired a professional photographer for Lauren's wedding. If I had to be the primary photographer, I would've obsessed over the details so much that I would've given myself a brain aneurysm. Now, I can relax a little and maybe even have some fun.

Yeah, I was hoping to find out if I have what it takes to shoot a big event, but quite frankly, I'd rather not experiment on my sister-in-law's wedding.

Labels: me.so.not.crafty, photography, weddings

Ted's sister Lauren (his only sister of his 4 siblings, I might add) is getting married to her sweet and handsome Bostwanian Swede Douglas in August. She's asked me to be the photographer for the big event, and before you think she's crazy for asking an amateur like me (Let's face it, guys. Y'all are really sweet to me, but that's what I am. Have you ever been on Flickr?), you have to know Lore. She's a simple gal who wants a simple wedding and who prefers things more spontaneous and informal. I think I can handle that.

Don't get me wrong. To some degree, I'm shaking in my crocs. Which is why I'm trying to do as much preparation as possible before the big day. I'm taking this assignment seriously, and I think my first step is going to be to ask beg our sister-in-law Ali in Seattle for help. She's a film photographer with a great eye and so much more experience than me. I think it would be pretty stupid to have just one photographer. Even I had two at my little backyard wedding (Ali and my friend Teal Pheal).

I've actually shot two weddings (as the backup photographer, of course) with my point-and-shoots a while back. The first one was a disaster because it was entirely indoors under artificial lighting, and my camera only went up to an ISO400. DisASTER. Thank GOD they had an AWESOME and PROFESSIONAL REAL photographer (who was probably giggling behind my back at my little coolpix). The 2nd wedding was for my friends Caleb and Kathy, who also had an awesome primary photographer. That wedding was an early wedding with lots of natural light, so I fared better at that one, and if I'd actually had an SLR, I'd have to say the photos would have been kick-ass.

In addition to asking Ali for help, I've taken another step towards being a better faux-real photographer. I got myself another SLR body. Yes, I done gone out and bought me a used D50, just so I could use my 50mm f/1.8 lens without having to manually focus. I suppose I could've put that lens on my film SLR, but do you have any idea what a friggin' nervous wreck I'd be wondering how the photos were coming out? Yeah. Not my cup of tea. Besides. If you're gonna shoot a wedding, you gotta have two bodies so you don't have to keep switching out your lenses. Right? And look at that photo above, which I took w/ the D50 and the 50mm lens. No postprocessing here. That is all natural blur, folks. And dirt. All natural dirt on them footsies.

I'm also actually going to look at books about photographing weddings. In case you didn't know, wedding photography is a huge industry now. Wedding photojournalism has especially gotten popular. People don't want just canned posed photos of their weddings any more. They want flippin' ART. I hear there are a few good books on the subject that may give me ideas and hopefully the technical know-how to execute those ideas.

I plan on shooting in RAW format to be on the safe side so that I can make corrections if need be in post process. I don't do a lot of post processing, considering up until I discovered Picasa, I only used Microsoft Photoeditor for making changes and corrections to my photos. I'm pretty scared of Photoshop. I tried it for a month and just couldn't get comfortable with it. So I've been seeing a lot of Flickrites using Lightroom, which is definitely cheaper than Photoshop, and I'm thinking I might try it out and see if I like it. My friend Lori has been using it a lot, and I love the results she's getting. Of course, she has Photoshop experience, so I may not get the same results…

So yeah. I'm taking this pretty seriously, as I should, it being a once-in-a-lifetime event and all. It's also my wedding present for Lauren and Doug, so I want it to be as good as possible. This is no time to be hiding behind pseudoartistic pride or punk rawk stubbornness, if you know what I mean. I figure I have two months to practice and learn all I can.

Those of you experienced in wedding photography, if you have any pointers, now would be the time to speak up. Even if you've never posted a comment on here before, this would be the time to delurk. I will be most grateful!

One last thing. What shoes should I wear?

Labels: family, photography, photos, weddings