Shutterbug Mama

#1—I was walking to the train one day when I passed an elderly dog of indiscernible breed hanging around his front lawn. He was a friendly type---the kind that always has a smile on his face, and I wasn't worried at all walking by him. His owner was on the front porch, just a couple yards away, and he called to his dog in such a gentle, amiable tone that made me smile to myself as I hurried to catch my train. It got me thinking about a quote by Gandhi that says, 'The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.' (Thank you, Google) I think this is true. I then got to thinking about how it is considered inhumane to hit a dog or cat or most animals in this country, but when it comes to hitting a child it's considered discipline.

I suppose the Christians have at least a little bit of something to do with this. One little Bible verse in the book of Proverbs—'Spare the rod, spoil the child' has probably done more to mislead parents regarding appropriate discipline than all the other verses regarding love, gentleness, kindness, mercy and forgiveness combined have done to enlighten them. I know that there are now Christian groups who believe in grace-based discipline and do not believe in spanking. William and Martha Sears, who are often considered the spokespersons for Attachment Parenting, are in fact devout Christians. Still, most folks who grew up in Christian or church-going homes grew up being spanked. I know a lot of folks who were hit as a child say they turned out okay so spanking must not be that bad. To them, I say, you probably turned out okay DESPITE being spanked. I'm sorry, but I personally don't see how the assertion of one's superior physical strength or size over another of inferior strength or size can EVER produce truly positive, long-term effects, such as instilling a sense of SELF-discipline, or the sense of right and wrong that is based on internalized morals and not fear of punishment.

I do believe that parents have the responsibility to guide their children. To me, that is what The Rod in the verse from Proverbs is referring to. Shepherds use their rods to guide their sheep, not to beat them when they stray. I'm no expert on discipline. In fact, it's an area that I really struggle with in our home. I am convinced that rewards and punishments do not work in the long-term, if what I'm looking to do is to teach Cadence self-control and desire to do the right thing, not out of fear of punishment or the desire for a reward but simply because it is the right thing to do.

And yet, I understand why parents spank their kids. When you are being pushed to the limits of your sanity by a scrawny 36 inches weighing less than 30lbs, it can be so easy to just revert to how you were parented. I really think that unless we experience significant internal changes, and unless we equip ourselves with the tools to know better, we just can't help ourselves from becoming our parents. For those who were parented well, this is a blessing. For the rest of us, it's a source of frequent internal and external strife.

I didn't grow up with a lot of physical discipline. However, I do distinctly remember my mom telling me that she wanted to beat the tar out of me (loose translation from the Korean), and I never forgot that. I just hope I never say anything so hurtful to Cadence. It would be as bad as giving her a spanking, I would imagine.

I believe that there is another quote out there about how you can tell a lot about a people by the way they treat their young, their old and their sick or disabled. If there isn't, there should be. All in all, I do believe that our humanity is determined, for better or for worse, by how we treat the weakest, the most vulnerable, the frailest, the most dependent among us.

Which is why Jesus is my hero, even though a lot of the stuff that often comes packaged in Christianity drives me totally nutso. But that's another thought for another (Thurs)day.

#2—On a totally different note, will any of you respect me less if I wear gauchos? I know some folks don't have a problem with it, but others simply cannot stand them. I just can't find anything to wear to the wedding that is comfortable enough for me to move around freely so I can take photos. You see, to get some of the shots I want, I sometimes find myself in awkward positions, and I mean that in the physical realm. I've been known to do things like stand on high places, kneel or get my belly on the ground, and I don't want to be doing all that in a skirt. Gauchos provide a nice in-between. Ted doesn't like them at all, but I can't find another pair of pants that I like. And don't get me started about the top…

#3—Can I just say that I absolutely love Ted's new haircut? I made him go to art+science which is much more pricey than just a barber or Supercuts. I have to say, it's totally worth it. Best of all, he loves it too!

Cadence thinks the haircut is beautiful too. They sure make a good looking pair!

Labels: attachment.parenting, cadence, parenting, photos, three.thoughts.thursdays

When I chose to do certain things as a parent that some folks would consider attachment parenting, I have to admit that I didn't have visions of beautiful bonding moments with my child; they were for reasons of convenience and necessity as a working mom. Breastfeeding meant I'd always have food ready to serve without needing to measure, mix or warm up. Extended breastfeeding meant I'd always have a means of calming and comforting instantaneously, not to mention being able to give Cadence—ever the Energizer bunny—the equivalent of a sleeping pill every night. Co-sleeping meant being able to nurse and comfort without having to get up or entirely waking up so that I could actually function during the day and bring home the bacon. Babywearing meant being able to do things around the house and not having to lug a stroller everywhere, the technicalities of which I never fully grasped (I am severely mechanically challenged). If these things promoted attachment between Cadence and me, well that was an added bonus.

As she grew older, however, I wondered if my laziness had set us up for disaster. I mean, would Cadence EVER stop nursing during the night, with a midnight snack just inches from her face? Would she EVER learn to put herself to sleep without the sleep-inducing hormones in a nightcap on tap from mama's boob? Would she EVER wean herself, if we let HER decide when she was ready? Would she EVER be able to sleep by herself in her own bed without a warm body next to her?

It seems to me that the answer to all these questions is YES. She has already stopped nursing during the night for the most part through no effort of my own. Sometimes she stirs, but she usually just settles herself and sleeps through the night until after I've already left for work. She has also started getting in bed and putting herself to sleep for naptimes, but only with Ted. I don't try to force her to do it with me too because I get to put her down for naps only three days a week. But at least I know that she CAN do it. She obviously hasn't weaned yet, but I know she will someday. Now that she's cut out her pre-dawn session, she only nurses twice a day as it is.

As for sleeping in her own bed, I am personally skeptical of the notion that a child should be expected to sleep alone so early in life. I remember sleeping with my grandmother while my brother slept with my parents until I was at least 5 years old. For thousands of years, humans slept together in one family bed, so I think babies are hard-wired to want to be close to a warm body, probably as a built-in safety feature. I believe that humans are highly adaptable and therefore have learned to sleep alone from infancy during the last 100 years or so (at least in the Western world). However, I don't expect this of my own child, because I know her personality. Some babies are great in their own cribs and beds from the get-go. Others can gradually become accustomed to sleeping alone. Cadence happens to fall into the camp that requires a little more coziness during the night. Maybe it's because I am away from her so much during the day. Maybe it's just how she's hardwired. At any rate, co-sleeping gives me the opportunity to be in close contact with her for at least 7 hours during the night, and although we may be asleep through most of it, in our dreamy state, we soak in each other's presence and touch, and it diminishes the sadness of being separated for 10-11 hours during the day. Of course there are nights when I just wish I could sleep unencumbered all alone in a nice big soft bed. Overall, though, it's so worth it.

Labels: attachment.parenting, cadence, cosleeping, extended.breastfeeding, parenting, photos, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1--I think I've got photographer's block. As much as I love my new camera(s), I haven't been feeling all that inspired lately to take photos. And you know what? I'm kinda tired of taking photos of Cadence.

I mean, yeah, she's really cute and all, and it's not that I'm tired of HER (well, ok, sometimes I am). I just don't know if a kid actually needs that many photos taken of them. I'm not going to stop taking photos of Cadence, but I'll probably take less than I have been. And I'm hoping I'll gain a little inspiration to take photos of other stuff.

#2--I am totally digging the music of Feist these days. Oh Em Gee. Listening to her sing can feel like swimming in liquid chocolate one moment and then like having a screwdriver boring a hole through your heart the next. Totally hot stuff. Other bands I'm listening to are The New Pornagraphers, The Blow, Kings of Convenience, Grizzly Bear, and The Sea and Cake

#3--So we've already gotten through a month of summer. Goodness gracious, time is just whizzing by, and I feel like I barely have time to catch my breath. The end of summer will signal the arrival of Cadence's 3rd birthday. I better get ready to sing Happy Birthday over and over and over again, cuz she LOVES singing that song. I heard her singing Happy Birthday to her chair the other day, that's how much she loves that song.

And here's another random photo:

Labels: photos, three.thoughts.thursdays

That's right. I've got a migraine. Hopefully the cafe au lait Ted made me, in combo w/ some pain killers, will chase it away. I think it's due to some intense studying I've been doing for a work-related exam I'm taking on Friday. If anyone has any wisdom to impart on Base Pay Structures, please send 'em my way.

So instead of sharing my deep thoughts, I am participating in Tracey's Thursday Theme, which is HEAT, something a good portion of our country has been experiencing in waves lately. Things have cooled down in our neck of the woods the past couple of days, but Sunday was a scorcher. I thought it would be a good idea to cool Cadence off with some water play. Unfortunately, I was too lazy to run out to actually buy a bonafide kiddie pool.

Luckily, we had just the right sized storage container that could do the job. It was perfect for Cadence and some of her rubber friends.

Cadence liked her "swimming pool" just fine.

There was lots of splashing going on, fer sure.

She liked it so much, in fact, that she got quite pruny.

Go see how other folks are dealling w/ the heat on Tracey's Picture This.

Labels: around.the.house, cadence, photos, three.thoughts.thursdays, thursday.theme

#1—I recently celebrated a semi-milestone birthday, which has forced me to contemplate my aging process. I have to say, if there's one thing my mom has done well, it's to age gracefully. At the age of 65, she still has only a few stray gray hairs here and there, and her face lacks but a few wrinkles. In the past year, I have come to grips with the fact that my hair is in fact starting to gray. This wouldn't be so bad if my hair were a lighter color, but when you've got black hair, it's really hard to miss. Just this morning, when I looked in the mirror, I was horrified to find that a few strands had gone white totally overnight. Like, how is that even possible?

Different people have different ways of dealing with their deviant strands. Me? I pluck those suckers right out of my scalp as fast as I can. Luckily, I haven't found too many so far. And yet, I know I'll have to make a decision as to what I'm gonna do about the gray once these ghost strands become too numerous for me to keep up with. The thing is, I don't want to dye my hair. My dad stopped dying his later in life, and he had a lovely head of silvery moonbeam hair. I actually wouldn't mind having that. I just hope it's not at the age of 35. Anyhoo, I don't know what to do in the interim. If I dyed my hair, I'd want to dye it a totally different color, like cobalt blue or magenta. Something tells me that wouldn't go over so well at my place of gainful employment...

#2—It seems to me that a lot of newish parents these days fret over the size of their babies and toddlers, especially if they're on the smallish side. It doesn't help that the growth charts published in every parenting book and exhibited by pediatricians across the country don't take into account factors such as whether the children were formula-fed or breastfed or the genetic makeup inherited from the parents. Cadence has been falling off the charts weight-wise for some time now, and if it weren't for those pesky charts, I probably wouldn't stress out so much over her eating habits. The fact is, she's happy, playful, strong and active. If you look at her, the word "malnourished" would never enter your mind. Still, I wish she'd eat actual meals more than a couple times a week.

Speaking of small, I finally got to meet my friends Zarah and Felix's newborn son Asher yesterday. He is tiny at just over 5lbs (after losing some of his birthweight like all newborns) but is just about the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. Granted, I only saw him while he was slumbering, but I'm sure he's just as beautiful awake. I absolutely love the way newborns look and smell and feel in your arms. Even my cousin's Baby Eden, who's now a whopping 4 months old, feels so small and light compared to Cadence, who herself is still light enough to carry with one arm.

*Sigh*. Here's a photo of Cadence from the archives, when she was really little. Can you tell I have just an eensy-teensie bit of baby fever? I'll get over it soon enough, though, before it's too late. Although this would be the perfect time for me to get pregnant…My work usually slows down for mid-spring/early summer, which would be just around 40 weeks from now. Hmmm…

Alright, moving right along...

#3—I know that my affinity for used/vintage clothing is obvious in the way I dress Cadence. Well, what's even better than used/vintage is used/vintage hand-me-downs from people I love. That's exactly what Cadence is wearing in this photo. The shirt and shorts were her Auntie Lauren's way back in the 80's. Ted's mom made the shorts, and she spruced up the shirt with the lace/ribbon trim.

I wish my mom had kept some of my clothes from girlhood. There was this one Snoopy shirt which I can guarantee never existed in the U.S. And then there was that white dress with the floral apron that I absolutely adored. I guess we could only take so much on the plane when we moved here from Korea, but still...It apparently never occurred to my mom to save any of my stuff, even my hanboks. She expressed surprise that Ted's mom had kept Lauren's clothese all these years. This is coming from someone who saved every one of my report cards from grammar school. Oh well.

Labels: about.me, auntie.lore, baby.fever, cadence, family, parenting, photos, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1—I've been wondering how the digital age will affect the long-term memories of the babies and children of today. Take Cadence, for example. She's had just about every few days documented for her since birth, and that's pretty lazy on my part compared to some of my more dedicated photog friends who document their kids every day. Does this mean that she and her friends w/ equally photo fanatic parents will retain MORE long-term memories when they are older than we in the older generation have managed to do thus far?

I've mentioned my own loss of memories before, and I can't help thinking that if my parents had taken more photographs as I was growing up, or if I had taken up photography seriously as a kid rather than after grad school that I'd remember so much more. Like how many snapshots from their everyday life growing up do most people my age own? Maybe a bunch of baby photos—the new born shot, the embarrassing naked bath shot (which my mother dug up for my mixed-company 14th birthday party), messy eating shot, first step shot, etc.—and a few at holidays and birthdays until one reached the age of bershon, at which point our parents gave up trying to take our photos or they stopped being interested in preserving the moment for posterity, considering the cost of film and processing.

Aside from these pictorial cues, we are dependent on our diaries, school records, and our memories, which over time become like the shifting sand--changing details here, covering up entire segments there, uncovering little tidbits here, washing away portions there.

But I'm not talking about aging folk like myself. I'm talking about the kids that will have so many special and mundane moments preserved for them that they could quite possibly remember everything. What will happen then? Will their brains explode? Or will the human brain adapt to this sudden increase in use of hard drive space? Will it affect other brain functions? Will there be less forgiveness if there's less forgetting?

One of my favorite documentary series is the UP Series, which follows a group of British youth every seven years from the time they are 7 in 1964 up to the present, the most recent being 49 Up just released a couple years ago. Ted and I watched the entire series over a few days, and it was quite fascinating to watch these kids grow up literally before your very eyes.

With blogs and online photo communities like Flickr, that's kind of what we're doing now with each others' kids and lives. I've been on Flickr since Cadence was 7 months old, and I've watched so many other kids her age or a little older or younger grow into toddlerhood with her. I wonder what these kids will think about all this when they're older. I've heard of a columnist for a newspaper who often wrote about her family being asked by her son to stop writing about him because he was tired of total strangers coming up to him and acting like they knew him because they followed his mom's column. Will Cadence feel the same way? I guess I'll have to ask her one of these days…I don't know what I'd blog about if not her, so that may be the end of my online life then.

#2—Speaking of blogs, I've been really busy lately and feel like I'm not spending enough time reading up and commenting on you peoples' blogs. I'm actually doing more reading than commenting, so I am TRYING to keep up. I wish we could get together at a local coffee shop and just chat face to face. Yes, I realize I type much better than I chat (I suck at the chat, actually), but I feel the need for real and tangible relationships. Not that online relationships are not real—some of them have been the most rewarding and helpful to me. I guess what I'm trying to say (really badly, I might add) is that all you folks who come visit over here mean a lot to me, and I'm grateful for your friendship and I WISH y'all just lived in my neighborhood so we could hang out (and you could babysit Cadence once in awhile since y'all think she's so cute). So here. This is a virtual hug from me to you: <= =>

(Lori, can't wait to see you next weekend!)

#3—I think I may have to go out and find me some paht-bingsoo this weekend. That would be the perfect way to start the summer off right! If any of you Chicagoans are interested, let's meet up at Outdoor Café on Bryn Mawr!

Labels: blogging.schmlogging, cadence, digital.age, random.photos, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1— This has been a beautiful week weatherwise in Chicago (although we could use some rain soon, I'm sure). We live about a mile from the lake, and I've been there with Cadence a few times this past week. I was reminded again just how beautiful it is to live by a big body of water like Lake Michigan. I know I rave about summers in Seattle, but when you think about it, summers in Chicago are pretty damn nice too.

I know that we don't live by the BIGGEST of the Great Lakes, but it still looks like an ocean to me. You can't help but be filled with a sense of awe while looking out on the vast waters beneath a huge endless sky. I just don't get tired of this. Ever.

#2—Something I wonder and worry about every 3 days or so is where, when and how to send Cadence to school. Ted and I have seriously considered homeschooling, cuz let's face it—Chicago Public Schools are not exactly stellar. But lately, Cadence has shown an interest in going to school. She's run into kids from a nearby preschool at a local playground, and she really seems to want to be a part of that whole scene. I guess playing with an entire group of people her own size is more appealing than same old boring mom and dad. So I guess we are open to the idea of sending her to school. Lord knows Ted could probably use the break. And now we have to ask ourselves when we think a good time would be to enroll her. And considering most schools require that you apply a good 6-9 months in advance, we may need to decide WHERE to send her sooner than we'd like.

Part of it will depend on the luck of the draw, literally, as I hear the best public schools in the city have a pretty competitive lottery system of admission. I've thought about packing up the family and moving into the neighborhood of certain schools so that we'd have a better chance of getting in. But I'd hate to go through all that trouble and end up not getting in at all.

I feel like so much of public education in the last decade has focused a ridiculous amount of time on testing, which I think is stupid and a waste of taxpayer dollars. I was surprised to find that an increasing number of schools have done away with recess. I don’t want Cadence to be stuck in a learning environment where she's forced to fill in an endless array of bubbles with a #2 pencil day after day. That's not what I call learning. That's what I call mind-numbing, brain-cell-annihilating exercise in futility.

#3—Lately, I've been thinking that it would be nice to have a large family. I'm actually a big supporter of folks who choose to have only one child. In the U.S., having just one kid has the environmental impact of having maybe 30 kids or more in certain parts of the developing world. This is something I actually have thought about a lot. On the other hand, I've ALWAYS wanted to be in a big family, and I really enjoy the dynamics among Ted and his siblings. Cadence is such a social kid that I think she's really going to give us a hard time if we don't provide her with some siblings. Now don't jump to the conclusion that Ted and I are gonna get busy for a #2 anytime soon. Adding another family member would be a significant change to the current family environment, and we need to think about this more. I know some of you are laughing at me, but dude…Cadence is a flippin' handful…A very cute, sweet and charming handful, but still…Maybe what she needs is a lot of cousins…

Labels: cadence, family, photos, random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1—I've been thinking lately about my "past" lives. No, I'm not talking about "past" as in previous lives, but as in the totally different people I've been over the course of my 35 years. It's just so weird to think back to the various identities and sets of beliefs and circles of friends I've had. I've even had a number of different names. You'd think I couldn't make up my mind on who I was or something.

It's always a little awkward when I run into someone from one of these former lives. I have no idea what they've heard through the grapevine about my life since I last saw them. It's especially weird if they just assume that I'm the same as I ever was, especially regarding my thoughts on God and the Church (and by Church, I mean mainly the evangelical church in the U.S.).

Sometimes, though, it's a pleasant surprise to run into someone I haven't seen in a while. Like yesterday, at the Common, when I ran into a guy named Dave Fleuchaus who I used to go to church with. It was a very brief encounter, but still really nice, and I got to introduce him to Ted and Cadence. It's funny how a flood of memories can rush back from when you were essentially someone else. I sure do miss a lot of the people…

#2—Whenever summer rolls around, my thoughts drift towards the Pacific Northwest, home of my favorite city to visit—Seattle, WA. Surrounded by mountains and water, built on hills, draped in breathtakingly green raiment, covered by deep azure skies, and soaked in bountiful sunshine—summers in Seattle are simply gorgeous. I know they're notorious for their drizzle, but that's really mainly during the winter months. Summers totally make up for it.

There was a time when you could fly roundtrip to Seattle from Chicago for around $180. I think I visited there 3 times in a 9-month period back in 2002/2003. Ted went last year to drink beer with visit his bro Charles and sis-in-law Ali while I moped at home with Cadence. Now I'm itching to go back, but we've decided that we won't take any flying trips this year, unless it's Ted's dad who's doing the flying. Now that we have to buy a ticket for Cadence too, we'd have to spend at least $700 on airfare alone to go most places far away enough to justify flying. But still…

I really have a hankering for some fresh (flying) seafood at Pike Place market.

Or a REALLY AWESOME latte on Capitol Hill.

Or a picnic in Discovery Park.

Or watching folks busking on the street corners.

Or some really greasy pizza on The Ave.

Or a late night stroll through Red Square in UW.

Or just hanging out in Charles and Ali's backyard. And I could go on and on…

#3—I think I'm a total sap sometimes. It must the be whole getting old thing again.

Labels: i.heart.seattle, memory.lane, photos, random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1—I've been missing the Rock 'n' Roll lifestyle lately. Maybe it's the whole turning 35 thing. Maybe I'm just stupid. Whatever the reason, I've determined to start going to more shows. Granted, if I get to see 3 shows in a year, that would qualify as MORE, but I was thinking more along the lines of at least twice a month. Holy shit. That sounds like a lot.

Anyhoo, I've got this lovely new camera that I'm dying to use on Chicago's best-lit venues, so who better to call upon than my dear friends Derek Becker of Satellite Booking and the Detholz! It just so happens that the 'Holz are headlining the I-Go Audio Emissions CD Release Party at the Metro tonight. I asked Derek if I could get a media pass so I could shoot photos, and he was nice enough to put me on the guestlist AND get me a media pass! The Metro happens to have my favorite lights in the city, so I'm really excited about the show tonight. And my friend Miss Mia of Chic-a-go-go is hosting the show, so I hope she tells all the tall folks to get the hell out of my way! Stay tuned for the photos…

#2—Speaking of the Detholz! show, I am hopefully going to get to meet someone at the show whose blog (erg, actually her Myspace page) I've been lurking on for a few months, and who it turns out has also been lurking on my blog! HA HA! That gets me a-thinkin' about the power of the Internet to establish relationships between folks who would otherwise be too shy to express their mutual admiration for one another in person. It also shows how the Internet brings out the inner stalker in all of us. I totally admit to that one.

#3—Cadence is growing up so fast. No, really. It's become more noticeable in just the past week or so. She's actually occasionally rational now. I can say to her, "We can't eat cookies for breakfast, but you can have an apple or an apricot," and she'll actually choose one of the latter two without argument 5% of the time. Or when I come home and she demands a nursing session right away, I can now say to her, "We'll do ma-ma-ma (her word for nursing) after I pee and change into something more comfortable (e.g., sans bra), and she'll actually say, "Okay."

Then again, she did have that screaming session yesterday evening about something I can't even remember, and I had to plug my ears or totally seriously risk hearing loss. It was flippin' loud, folks. I don't see how she's not deaf herself.

But still, overall I'm noticing that when I can't give her what she wants, as long as I get down on her level and give her some sort of explanation in a gentle, empathic voice, she'll resort to screaming in retaliation much less than she used to.

She's also beginning to understand aspects of the bigger world outside our little family. It kind of shocked me the other day when we were talking about church, and she tilts her head, nodding it up and down, and says, "Blbublaubl God? Blbublaubl Eesus?" Wow. So she knows that going to church has something to do with God and Jesus. Up to this point, she always associated church with Rudden (her best friend and baby love) and her other friends. And Matt the pianist whom we pick up every Sunday.

And then when we were at my cousin's house on Tuesday night, Baby Eden was propped up on her boppy while we were eating, and she started crying. Cadence was next to her, and looking really concerned, she says to me, "Blbublaubl wanna ah-zhoo!" No, she wasn't sneezing. Ah'-zhoo is her word for "be held." She knew that the baby wanted to be held and was alerting us to that fact.

So yeah, she's becoming spiritual AND compassionate. Totally growing up so fast.

Labels: cadence, friends.rock, friends.who.rock, live.music, motherhood, parenting, random.photos, random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays

#1--This one isn't so much a thought as it is a little piece of advice. "ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU DRINK." That's right, folks. You never know what might be in that tall glass of yours. If I had heeded this little piece of common sense, I never would have ended up with a spider in my mouth this morning. And I'm not talking a little tiny jumper. It was at least half an inch big, and that's how I caught a blurry glimpse of something brown going in my mouth as I was taking my last gulp. Luckily, I had enough wits about me not to swallow, and after a second or two of blinking my eyes, wondering what the heck was floating in my mouth, I decided to spit the water back into my glass. That's when I saw the creepy critter, flailing its legs helplessly in the shallow pool of water in the bottom of my glass. I'm quite proud of myself that I somehow maintained composure instead of reacting how I normally do to spiders, which is to scream like a 2 year old who's had their cookie confiscated and to jump on the nearest chair. My still-sleeping family would not have appreciated that, I'm sure. I'm still kind of grossed out by the whole thing though. Ted and I are such big wussies when it comes to creepy crawly things. Cadence, on the other hand, hasn't learned to be afraid of them yet, and we're hoping to foster that lack of fear so that we can designate her the household bug remover (we don't squash—we relocate).

#2--In a couple of days, I will be celebrating my 35th birthday. I just can't believe how old that sounds. I mean, I remember watching the show thirtysomething when I was younger and thinking to myself that those folks were really old. And now, here I am. Not merely thirtysomething, like thirty-one or thirty-three, but undeniable and securely in my MID THIRTIES. Holy cow.

I have to admit, though, that I've always felt kind of old. I distinctly remember the last day of school in June of 1980. I was walking home, report card in hand, with all my little friends, when I had an epiphany. "Wow," I thought to myself, "I'm going to be in the 3rd grade in September. Now I'm REALLY old." And at 25, when I became a quarter of a century old, I grieved the loss of my youth and was convinced that any age greater than 25 sounded so egregiously old.

#3--Speaking of lost youth and being a kid, I sometimes wonder about all the events of my life, how so much was meaningful to me in that moment, but now, however, there seems to be so little that I actually remember. What happens to memories when you forget them? I suppose that by definition, they are not memories any more. It makes me wonder what juicy morsels of my past lie hidden in the deep recesses of my squishy brain. What friends have I forgotten, who were at the time so totally going to be my BFF? What heartache did i suffer that I was totally convinced I would never survive? What joys did I relish, not realizing then that the memory would someday fade? I wonder…

Labels: random.photos, random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays

I'm starting something new around here. I'm calling it Three Thoughts Thursday, and it should be pretty self-explanatory. Three thoughts. Posted on Thursdays. I was gonna make it Thirty Thoughts Thursday, but once you read my first thought below, you'll see why I changed my mind. For the record, these thoughts will be of the Deliberately Random sort, so don't be expecting a dissertation on the failure of postmodernism to address the specific needs of mommybloggers or anything of that sort. If it's erudition you seek, go somewhere else.

Oh. And the photos will be just as DR* as the thoughts.

*Deliberately Random

#1--I've been thinking lately that I'm getting dumber as I get older. Is it mommyhood? Am I just not reading enough? Or is it early-onset Alzheimer's (which happens to run in my family on both sides, yippe-aye-ay)? I used to toy with the idea of going back to school someday when we're independently wealthy so that I can become either a lawyer or a librarian, but now I'm thinking I won't be able to hack it. Maybe I'm just lazier, not older.

#2--I think that Brown and Pink might be the best color combo ever. Why? Because it immediately brings to mind Chocolate and Strawberry ice cream, side by side, just the way I like it. If you throw in off-white, you'd get Neapolitan, which is okay, except that I prefer to ignore Vanilla and just go straight for the Brown and Pink stuff. Cadence is the same way.

#3--I think it's about time I emerge from the Dark Ages and got myself an mp3 player. I've resisted the whole iPod revolution this long, but I'm finally surrendering because I really miss the rock 'n' roll. Since I take the train to work, I don't get to blare my car stereo very often, and I have fallen hopelessly behind on the exponentially-expanding volume of worthy music out there. The thing is, I have no idea which mp3 player to get. I'd really like to be able to listen to the radio, cuz frankly, sometimes all I need is NPR and WLUW. I don't know if I actually need 30GB, which is the size of my laptop's entire hard drive. Oh, and if I could get one in brown and pink, I'd be like totally sold.

Labels: random.thoughts, three.thoughts.thursdays